Street Life2 How I became Me
by Innocent Guilt
Isn't it funny the simple little things we miss everyday in life as time goes on. That favorite little friend that gets forgetten. The innocent little smiles that are replaced by facts and knowledge of what the real world is.
Everyday we go through life thinking these very things and never act upon them. We fordge new friends that's only goal is to make money. The games we used to play are replaced with reports and credit card bills.
What life is this that we have reduced ourselves to. Why do we not act upon those childhood memories that used to fill our very mind. My life faces these very questions everyday as does yours. We are the same everyway yet different underneath. Sometimes our only escape is into the memories of these worlds we create for ourselves.
It was on such a meeting that I found myself in a darkplace. The place was surrounded by old, rusted , and broken meterials from my past. It was a place I had recently locked up. Only under hypnosis was I able to reach this place. I remember the broken down tv that our parents used to change the channels with by pliers. The rusted stove we used to cook what little food we had. Our sheets were thrown down on the floor. These were bagged up and taken from a near by motel 6 where my mother used to work hours upon hours sweeping and cleaning up other peoples messes. Her excuse for at home was,” Why bother. It's just going to be like that the next time. You kids clean it up yourself if you want something clean” None of us ever bothered cleaning it up because we were to young to know how. Our father God bless his soul was a ruthless, cheapass, drunk as my mother used to put it. He would never spend a dime on us. His favorite saying,”When I was your age my father made me work 3 jobs that paided only a dime a minute. We didn't complain about the hours of work spent. It was money. Now go out and get a job and stop complain.” Trapped between the darkages it never occured to him that we were only kids and couldn't work. Then there was my brothers and sisters. We were all basically packed into one room without anything to do except our only games to play were flipping the beer bottle caps from my fathers empty bottles and counting the cuts and scraps from all the rust around us. This was my childhood.
Now I know your wondering why would I think of ever returning to a place like this, but after I got into the real world I couldn't handle anything. Everything was either difficult or not achivable due to the bases of not being able to read. You see my parents still believed school cost money. They wouldn't send us to school because of this. No one ever came from child services to check on us either since most in our neighberhood couldn't afford to be born in a hospital, so we were all born in the house. The youngest Roxie was a near lost. The only reason my mother and her weren't killed is because of the 6 bottles of beer my father forced my mother to drink to get her to shut up and stop complaining during the birth.
Abuse was another problem in my family. It was a way for our dad to forget his pain. He used to take his belt off ”Old Spikey” as he used to call it and just beat us to death with it. We either had to pretend to pass out or wait till he passed out before capable of leaving. Sure we tried to run away, but we never left the corner of the street. You see we were only kids. We had nowhere to run or go. Plus we knew they would come after us and be even more destructive to us.
After 10 years of this abuse I remember my dad finially dieing off. I guess all the beer finially took it's toll. My mom went into a horrible breakdown after that day. She closed herself off from the world and trapped herself off into a horrible corner of her mind. The spots below her face became darker and darker as the wrinkles took it's toll all over her skin. You would think by the looks of my mother that she was at least in her 60's or 70's; however the truth remain that she was only 30. She was fired from her job for depressing the guest. Along with the horrible smell she was producing from not bathing. You see just resently our water was shut off from back payments, rent was falling behind, and our lives were falling apart.
It wasn't till the final notice was passed onto the apartment that our landload called the cops The cops took my mom away and brought me here to this dump. God knows what happen to my brothers and sisters. Being miners, they didn't care to pass on that information.
After a couple of years moved arounded from home to home I was finially 18. A free man at last. Out on my own without a care in the world. I couldn't read, couldn't write; but Lord knows I wasn't going to let that stop me.
If life has taught me anything over these years it is that the best way to get something you want is to take it. I started robbing banks, stores, and anything else that people set me up with. However my downfall was my last and final job. It was a scientfic research company. The hit was for a new biochemical agent that would allow the body to regress mentally and physically. I was told the formula would be in a red container. I was to grab the container and then destroy the rest of the information. Everything was going smoothly till I grabbed the container. As a safety trap, the company had put a small hole that would drip out small amounts of formula onto the one who attempted to steal it. This reaction would then create a biochemical change and altration in them. Unaware of this trap I soon fell victim to the formulas changes. I remember my hair changing color and growing longer. My lips became fuller and more lady like. My eyelashes slowly spread out as they grew longer. My nose shifted into a upward turn as it settled into place. Then the changes spreaded past my neck as I felt a raising start to happen on my chest. I could see a full set of twins up there that wiggled and giggled at each slight movement. I also noticed the change and balance of myself and clothes as it spread down my body. My hips became more curved and legs growing smaller and curved. My Feet grew smaller . The changes didn't do much to my hands because even back then the kids used to make fun of me because of they were so girly. The genes had been taken from my mom's side more then my fathers side.
After all the changes were finished I screamed a very girlish scream that was far from the usually male sounding scream I was used to, but the changes weren't over then. That was when I noticed the bumps that had just growing smaller. Till it was flat again. At first I thought I was safe and reverting back to my malehood, but I was far from right. It wasn't till I noticed the door slowly growing larger and the furniture growing bigger that I saw what was truely happening to me. I was getting younger and younger. As I slowly grew younger my clothes started to fall off till there was nothing more then my top hanging on me. I was now stuck a 4 year old girl. No longer the man I had used to be, but a small fragile, innocent creature void of all knowledge and life that adults should know about. The worst part is I was helpless to relive the hell of childhood over again that I had so hoped to escape.
That was when the door open up and a lady came near me. Her voice echoed in my mind as she spoke,” You thought that you would steal. You thought you would be cool, but now your stuck. Now your ours and ours alone. We will see to your fate. A fate void of freedom and pleasure. Jails may not be part of your future, but a fate even worst.” She laughed just like the demonic lady she was and then I was left back in the homes. Moved around and exchange till each family got tired of me or brought in a new younger child to care for and show off.
Thats the whole of it doc. Hypnosis or no hypnosis I will still speak of it. You see I have no need to hide the facts of my life. The only reason I want to be a man again is because I was never ment to be a female in the first place. Decide as you must or want, but if your not the one to do the operation then I will just have to go to another sex change doctor and tell my story all over again.
The End