And A Little Bit Of This'd Get You Up
And A Little Bit Of That'd Get You Down...
Part V
by sumner
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IN THE MEANTIME...
Jenna had but one quest in mind... and it was far from buying the reversal tablets her family so desperately needed. Driving her mother’s car rather recklessly, she had decided to patronize a drug venda of the opposite side of town (one she knew stayed open 24 hours) in search of a package of Viagrosta, a potent aphrodisiac. In her everyday sixteen-year-old body, the purchase would have been impossible, but in her stylish twenty-five-year-old physique, it was a cakewalk.
”Thank you,” was about all she needed to mutter in order to make the transaction. But like Cinderella, her window of opportunity was a limited one. By her watch, it had been two hours and fifteen minutes since she had taken the batch of reversal pills. Only an hour and forty-five minutes to accomplish her goals.
It was only a few blocks to Mr. Donnovan’s apartment, but Jenna still ran a few red lights. Though angering countless other drivers along the way, she made it safely to her beloved biology teacher’s door. She rang the doorbell.
”Hi.”
”Hello?” Gary Donnovan answered, looking like he’d just come from a hot shower.
”My name is Gloria Burnham and I’m from a local charity group,” Jenna began, “and I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time.” Jenna knew of Mr. Donnovan’s penchant for philanthropy.
”Sure, fine,” he let the door swing wide open. “Can I offer you something to drink?”
”Oh yes,” Jenna politely returned. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you’d say.”
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IN SUSAN’S CAR
”Wh- what do we d-do?” Susan was already far too flustered to deal with an officer of the law. She’d never been pulled over by the cops in her life, and yet, being stopped by the police still paled in comparison, she decided, to the fact that she looked to be about forty years old.
”Don’t panic,” advised Jason, “Just get it over with as fast as possible.”
Fidgeting madly in her seat, Susan managed to roll down the window and appear at least somewhat “together” when the officer arrived.
”Ma’am,” he began, “I caught you doin’ roughly eighty miles per hour back there. You in some kind of hurry?” He seemed to be surveying the inside of the vehicle intently.
”No, no. I guess I just wasn’t paying attention, officer,” Susan tried batting her eyes at the young cop, but they didn’t have the same effect as they did on Jason.
”I see you’ve got your son in the car with you. You know you need to pay more attention to the road, especially when you’ve got kids in the car,” he warned.
”Of course, I’m sorry, officer,” Susan capitulated to every bit of advice he gave her.
”Boy,” the officer peeked in at Jason, “you need to have your seat belt buckled at all times, OK?” Jason nodded without hesitation. “It’s the law in this state. Now, ma’am, I need to see your license and registration.”
Oh shit on a stick Susan thought, reaching into her purse for the license. Pulling it out timidly, she showed it to the officer, knowing she could never pass for nineteen in her current condition. Making a quick glance in the rear view mirror, she could see she’d probably aged another four or five years just during her conversation with Officer Asswipe here.
”Ma’am, is this supposed to be some kind of joke?”
”No, officer.”
”This can’t be your license,” he said, turning it around.
”Oh, ohh, I’m sorry. That’s my... daughter’s license. We must have gotten them switched earlier today. We had to get them out to fill out some insurance papers and I must have grabbed hers by mistake,” Susan was getting to be quite deft at the whole lying business.
”I see. Well...” the officer thought for a painfully long thirty seconds, “I guess I can let you off this time. But you be more careful now. And you buckle up, young man.” The officer pointed at Jason, who was about to wet his pants in fury if he heard anyone else refer to him as “young man,” “little fella,” or “kid.”
”Whew,” Susan finally breathed.
”Close one,” Jason mused, and then looked at his watch. “We really need to get home. That stuff should wear off in ten minutes or so.”
”What happens then?” Susan asked, thinking she might be too old to drive by the time they got back home.
”Hell if I know.”
”Just one more thing,” the officer ducked his head back into the open window. “Your license...”
Susan gulped audibly.
”I forgot to give it back you.”
”Oh, of course. Thank you, sir.”
Just as the officer handed Susan the plastic card, a clear bag full of blue-ish pills slipped from Jason’s hand onto the floor in front of the passenger seat.
”Hey, hey, wait, what was that?” he leaned back into view. “That bag. What was that?”
”Nothing, officer. Just some of my pills. It’s for a heart condition,” Susan claimed, thinking she was on the verge of actually having a heart condition.
”Hand that to me, son,” the officer reached his hand over to Jason. “Come on, now. Hand it to me.” Jason reluctantly forked over the sack of reversal pills. Examining them closely, it was clear the officer was not schooled in narcotics. And though it was true he was only a rookie, he wasn’t going to leave anything potentially harmful to chance. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to confiscate these.”
”What?”
”I need to confiscate these. Just in case. You can come down to the station and claim them later if that’s all right.”
”Well, no, I don’t think--”
”Ma’am, we’ve had a lot of drug trafficking in this area recently. People disguising illegal drugs to look like common medications. Now, you say these are for a heart condition, but I can’t be for sure. If you want to follow me down to the station, we can have these back to you as soon as we can if you need them right now.”
A solitary bead of sweat curved its way down Susan’s ever-wrinkling forehead. “No, no, we’ll... um... we’ll be by later... or something.”
”Well, all right, ma’am.”
After the cop car eventually pulled back into traffic and passed them, Susan started crying heavy tears. Meanwhile, Jason’s view of the dashboard seemed to have once again shifted... downward. The variation had not been sudden, so it hadn’t registered during Susan’s conversation with the policeman, but something was amiss. And now it looked as if their last hope was defunct.
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BACK AT THE HOUSE
Fast approaching the four hour mark, the family reunion was taking yet another turn. Nina, now the most capable of the bunch, began to notice some slight alterations occurring. The first dose of Youthies had taken enough years away to make her a pert sixteen again, while Linda continued in her seventies, and the remainder of the crew were left children. At sixteen, Nina was a sight, far more radiant than any of her old pictures let on. Another feature everyone couldn’t help but observe was her well-endowed chest region. All of this made her feel quite unpleasant and displaced -- the rest of the room being only kids.
”Aren’t we supposed to take those reversal whatchamacallits?” Nina asked her pint-sized daughter.
”She doesn’t have any!” Harold piped up, still brooding over his sudden loss of stature.
”Now, Jenna promised me she was going to--”
”Jenna? You can’t be serious. You think she actually went to get reversal pills?” Harold counteracted, sitting Indian style on the floor and trying to come to terms with his seven-year-old body.
”Well, we have to hope. Maybe if she doesn’t come back, Nina can get some for us.”
”Katherine, honey” Nina felt a chill, “something doesn’t feel right.”
”What do you mean?” Katherine turned to face her mother, “What is it?”
”I don’t know... but I feel sort of like I did earlier...”
”Earlier?”
”Before. When we first took the whatever-you-call-its.”
”Look at her!” Harold yelled out.
”What?” Katherine watched her mom slink back onto the recliner.
”Can’t you see it?” Harold yelled a little louder. “She’s getting younger again!”
”That can’t be! It hasn’t even been four hours since--” Katherine’s words were cut off by the chiming of the grandfather clock in the den. Looking at her watch, Katherine felt the seeds of panic start to form in the pit of her stomach. Walking closer to her mother, she realized Harold’s appraisal was correct; the most visible aspect of Nina’s age was undergoing a change. The large breasts puberty had afforded her mother were slowly shrinking back toward her chest. In amazement, Katherine watched her mom become less and less an adult.
Harold took no time in reminding Katherine of the implications. “And if she’s getting littler...”
”What?” Roger woke up.
”If she’s getting younger, that means we’ll get younger too.”
No sooner had Harold spoken those words, everyone in the room started feeling the changes coming over them. John, still passed out on the couch, started shrinking ever so slightly, no longer even pre-school age in appearance. While Nina might have been called sexy a few minutes before, she was now a couple years from a driver’s permit. In fact, the transformation was so preoccupying her, she cast little attention in the direction of her husband. Only a child to begin with, Roger didn’t have too much to lose. Still, his face was registering the changes bit by bit. The bottom of his shirt now almost touching the floor, he was speechless.
Katherine, no longer the golden age of ten, ceased to show any signs of oncoming puberty. Her face became more fresh, and her cheeks pinker. She flushed with embarrassment at what she was becoming.
But by far the most indignant was Harold. He’d liked being in his twenties, but reliving his childhood was not anywhere to be found in his catalogue of fantasies. Appearing to be around the age Mark was at the start of the evening, Harold marched over to Katherine like a grizzled war vet.
”Look what you’ve done to us!”
”It wasn’t my fault!” Katherine screamed, thinking how much she sounded like a chipmunk.
”Of course it was! If you hadn’t screwed up the first measurements, we wouldn’t all be kids! And it doesn’t look like your lovely daughter is anywhere to be found,” Harold looked like he was throwing a tantrum, “are you happy now? We’re all going to end up babies thanks to you!”
”I just wanted to have a... a fun evening for everyone. And I thought all of you would enjoy it,” Katherine started to break down, now looking like a distraught first-grader.
”Yeah?” Harold retorted, “Well, just for future reference, I don’t enjoy having my wife turn into a senior citizen while I’m sucking on a pacifier and pooping in my pants!”
The tears started to roll down Katherine’s innocent face like a flood. “I... I just...” There were no more words to say, no more excuses to make, and no more games to play. The jig was up. Everyone who had taken the initial dose was being affected. Even Linda was starting to lose years too, re-entering her late sixties, though she was still too much in shock to realize it.
The argument between Katherine and Harold was escalating, even though they were diminishing. Harold lost the status of a seven-year-old, growing shorter and shorter as he threw accusations at her.
”It’s all your fault!”
”What were you thinking?!”
”What if this doesn’t stop, huh? How young will we get??!”
Meanwhile, Katherine, covered in tears, sat nearly motionless on the floor, her dress curling up around her thinning body. Her hair became closer to its original blonde and more frizzy. Soon, every bit of her v-neck dress tumbled to the carpet, her shoulders no longer wide enough to support anything but a little girl’s attire. Topless but too distressed to do anything about it, a six-year-old Katherine didn’t even make a motion to retrieve it. Harold, only a toddler, continued to release his anger, slowly becoming less and less able to even stand up.
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IN SUSAN’S CAR
Susan’s aging was still creeping forward, now giving her the body of someone nearly three times her age. Gray streaks ran through her long, flowing hair and her eyes were flanked by growing crow’s feet. Gone were the chipmunk cheeks she’d retained well into her teenage years. Replacing them was the partially sagging skin of a fifty-five year old woman. Out of dread, she hadn’t set her eyes on a mirror for the last ten minutes. In fact, she’d been covering them with her withering hands, trying to push the tears back.
After giving Susan a considerable amount of time to get her emotions out, Jason softly spoke up. “Susan, are you OK?”
And hearing that voice she uncovered her eyes and looked in surprise at her boyfriend. The voice didn’t even come out like a twelve-year-old’s; it was pitched more like a little boy’s. “Jas... Jason?”
Jason’s little league shirt was crumpled up around his torso like a tutu and his arms were nearly stick-like. His teeth were no longer the oversized rabbit’s teeth he’d had in the Polaroid. Everything about him was smaller. The edges of his hair were wet with nervous sweat, and his face was a sinless picture of innocence. Susan didn’t want to vocalize her first thoughts, knowing Jason probably already realized how young he’d gotten. But this situation showed no signs of stopping, as the two of them grew in opposite directions.
The tires left a short skid mark when Susan hit the gas pedal.
”We need to get home... fast,” Jason said, becoming aware that his stint as a kid might soon be ending. The babyfat of his infancy was slowing creeping all over him and his view of the dashboard was sinking lower and lower.
All the confusion had distracted Susan to such a degree that she didn’t notice how dangerously close to “E” her gas tank was. By Morgan Street, about ten miles from Jason’s house, the car was already sputtering like a go-cart. Soon, it was like riding with a student driver, constant starting and stopping... until Susan’s Cavalier came to a decided halt on the shoulder of the road.
”Damn! Damn! Damn!” Susan pounded the wheel with her fist, honking the horn a few times in the process. She never ran out of gas.
”What should we do?” Jason recoiled at the sound of his own voice.
”I guess we have to walk somewhere,” Susan glanced out the passenger side window. “There’s a Shay’s department store over there. Maybe we can call your house and see if anyone can come get us.”
”Yeah... right,” Jason was not enthused at the suggestion, but knew there was no alternative and time was running out. Neither of them knew how young or old they might get if this went on much longer. And guessing from the effects on Jason, the verdict on the rest of the family’s condition was not looking up.
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AT MR. DONNOVAN’S APARTMENT
Jenna effectively chewed the fat with Mr. Donnovan about her imaginary charity while she slipped a very liberal amount of Viagrosta into his coffee. And every time he looked away, she unhooked one more button on her blouse.
”So you’re fundraising for this organization...” Mr. Donnovan continued.
”Yes, we do all sorts of fund-raisers to help the needy and stuff around town. We think if we can help just one person that would be enough...” Jenna carried on like a Sunday sermon.
”Ahem,” Gary cleared his throat and tried to direct his attention away from Ms. Burnham’s cleavage. “And what kind of donation are you interested in?”
Jenna moved her chair closer. “Oh, there are a lot of options. Anything you could do would be appreciated.” She moved it closer still. “You know, you’re a very handsome man, Mr. Donnovan, if you don’t mind me saying.”
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IN SHAY’S DEPARTMENT STORE
Walking hand in hand, Jason and Susan made their way through the hardware aisle at Shay’s. The displays so dwarfed Jason now that he felt like hiding behind one of them. The only good news was that Susan’s aging seemed to have slowed to a minimum and the worst was behind her. The overdose of reversal pills left the once young Susan a petite sixty-year-old woman. Her temples mostly gray and her pace much slower, Susan, from the outward looks of it, appeared to be Jason’s grandmother.
At this point, Jason’s little league jersey was enough to conceal all that needed concealing. And his jeans were fast becoming too much of a hassle. After finding a relatively secluded corner of the store, Jason shed his unwieldy Levis and Nikes (now so big on him they could pass as clown shoes). Reluctantly, he also gave up his oversized underwear, blushing horribly. After all, having to wear a twelve-year-old’s undies was degrading enough, much less being too immature to fit them.
”There’s never a phone when you need one,” Susan complained, scanning the area for a video phone, as she folded Jason’s pants over her arm.
”Excuse me, can I help you?” a clean-shaven employee rounded the corner.
”Oh, no... ummm... we’re fine. Is there a phone we might use?”
”Yes, ma’am, but it’s on the other side of the store. Would you like me to show you?” he pointed to a sign across the store that read Restroom -- Telephone -- Customer Service. “It’s no trouble at all,” he continued. Turning his attentions toward Jason, he remarked, “Hey there, buddy. Doing a little shopping with your grandma?”
Jason declined to answer.
”Not a big talker, eh? You know the toy aisle is right over there,” he motioned to his right. “Maybe you can get her to buy you a little something!”
”Thanks,” Susan pulled Jason closer to her side. “I think we’ll be all right from here.”
”OK then. You just ask me if you need anything.”
Susan nodded and kept nodding as she waited for the employee to leave the aisle. Being addressed as “Grandma” had been reason enough for her to go into a temporary state of shock. But she even more surprised when she knelt back down to talk with Jason. When she turned around to face her short friend, she came tete a tete with a four-year-old boy.
”Jason!” she gasped, seeing his regression was still not complete, “Sweetie, you’re still getting younger!”
”I know,” Jason said, keeping his eyes firmly planted on the floor. By this time, the top of his head barely equaled Susan’s waist. His hair an even lighter shade of brown and the freckles he’d gained in kindergarten fading, Jason proceeded to slip further back into his childhood. With rosy red cheeks (possibly due the fact that he was mortified) and a growing lisp, Jason’s quick foray into pre-adolescence was long gone.
”Hurry, let’s get to that phone,” Susan said, pulling Jason like a stubborn child behind her. Her feet couldn’t move as fast as they used to, but Jason’s legs were now so short that he had to race like a caffienated greyhound to catch up.
Only a few browsing customers took any notice of the curious duo, but it was getting more difficult as their trek dragged on. Jason had always had a passionate loathing for big corporate department stores, but now he found himself hating them more. Why do they have to make these things so damn lengthy anyway? His socks came loose as they hiked toward the neon Restroom sign, along with the wristwatch that he’d been repeatedly adjusting. But their journey continued. After passing the women’s underwear section, Susan could no longer keep a firm hold on Jason. Spinning around, she saw he’d dwindled to nothing but a pudgy toddler in an enormous tank top.
”Sooswan,” he mumbled almost unintelligibly at her.
Picking up her poor boyfriend, Susan had no time to decipher his words. People were now beginning to stare as this sixty-year-old woman cradled a toddler clothed only in a boy’s jersey. She could feel Jason still growing lighter in her arms, becoming more a baby every moment. As his hair thinned to more of a fuzz and his limbs decreased in size, Susan guessed Jason couldn’t be any older than 18 months. Trying to ignore the comments of those around her, she saw she was now only a few feet from the telephone. Just as she reached to grab the receiver, she felt a squashy substance where her left hand met Jason’s butt. The smell took no time to come about either.
”Oh God, what now, Jason?!” Susan exclaimed, “Don’t tell me that’s what I thought it was.”
All Jason could do was gurgle and spit a response. The squishy matter was indeed what she had surmised upon her first sniff. Rather than torture anyone with the oncoming fumes, Susan ducked into the women’s bathroom. Luckily, a changing table was mounted to the rearmost wall. It was in use at the moment, so Susan lingered a considerate distance from the other party until they had finished.
Seeing Susan’s odd predicament, the woman offered Susan a fresh diaper, which she accepted graciously. Jason’s eyes widened as Susan laid him flat on the cold, plastic table. The scent of feces was now all around him as Susan hesitatingly peeled the jersey off his little body, first off his right shoulder then his left. Though he deep down knew this was the only alternative, he still couldn’t believe his girlfriend would just rip off his clothes this way. But soon the jersey was completely off, leaving Jason a naked one-year-old. Susan had a clueless expression painted on her face as she considered what to do, this being the first time she’d ever diapered a baby. In fact, she’d never really been involved with kids all that much and the sight of Jason’s bare body was an experience for her. Grabbing a nearby paper towel, she began to mop up the mess as well as she knew how. The real test came when she realized this meant she had to wipe off Jason’s stubby little penis as well, while feeling strangely as if she shouldn’t be looking at it.
Words cannot describe how all this made little Jason feel. This almost foreign woman was cleaning off his privates in a Shay’s department store bathroom, and none of it seemed real. In fact, everything inside him hoped this was all part of an epic nightmare, far removed from the reality he knew.
”Well, Jason,” Susan said, taking a hold of his ankles and hoisting his bottom into the air, “at least you’ve stopped growing younger on me!”