THE SCARF
by Sebtomato (2002)
JAMES
Alice finally persuaded me to take a long weekend break with her to the country. She sorted it all, the accommodation, train tickets, everything. Work had been so stressful but the project was finally over, so I gave in and decided to take the time off.
We arrived at the house at around eleven in the morning, the taxi driver taking our cases into the house. Alice told me the property a good thirty minute walk from the nearby village, and I groaned. Alice went to the master bedroom to upack our suitcases, while I inspected the rest of the house.
When I got back to our bedroom, Alice was sitting on the bed, trying on the brown suede gloves I'd bought her as a gift. 'The other bedrooms,' I said, 'there's clothes and toys all over the place.' Alice walks with me to the first bedroom and says, 'oh, I booked the place last minute - the owners asked if I would need the kids rooms, and I said no. I guess they've left their children's stuff where it is.'
The first bedroom was a baby's nursery, with brightly colored balloons painted on the walls and a wooden yellow crib in one corner. The second room was for a little girl, utterly pink and frilly. The third room was for a little boy. A train set was set out on the floor.
'Hey,' Alice said playfully, 'perhaps you can play with that this weekend.'
'Thanks,' I said with a roll of my eyes. 'And you can have the little girl's dolls.'
'Oh, look at his clothes,' Alice said. 'Aren't they adorable.' She'd opened the closet and was going through the little boy's outfits. Stripey t-shirt and sweaters, Osh Kosh overalls.
I shrugged my shoulders and went over to look out the window. It had started to snow again.
Alice came up behind me with a giggle and put a scarf around my neck and said, 'there, don't you look adorable.'
It certainly was a comfortable scarf. It was too small for me, of course, but as soon as it was around my neck, I felt warmer, somehow safer. I felt the wool between my fingers, and it was as if the stress I'd been suffering from over the last few weeks just melted away.
'Wow,' I said. 'Comfy scarf.'
Alice smiled - at first I thought it was rather a strange smile, but then I felt better about it.
'Suits you, Jimmy', Alice said. She knew I hated being called that, but I couldn't seem to get upset about it. All I could think about was that it would be nice if I could wear it all day. But of course, if I wore it inside, Alice would think that was pretty strange. So I told her I wanted to take a walk into the village and get a newspaper.
'Come on, can't you forget about the business pages for one weekend?'
'Oh...well, I'll get a magazine or something.'
'Okay,' Alice said. 'But you'd better put some warm clothes on, it's really cold outside.'
She started to take off my clothes. I was confused as to why she was taking my shirt and trousers off, but at least I was getting to keep the scarf on, so I didn't want to complain. Besides, I was feeling so mellow that it seemed fine to let Alice take charge of things. In fact, it seemed more than fine, it felt like the way things should be. Soon I was naked except for the scarf, and my clothes lay in a pile on the bedroom floor. They seemed so large, far too big for me.
Alice picked out a pair of Bear in the Big Blue House briefs for me to wear. Wow. Bear was really cool. I couldn't remember when I'd seen his show, but I knew that he was great fun. I eagerly stepped into the Bear briefs and let Alice pull them up my legs. I thought they would be too tight, as Bear was a show for little kids, and while I did like Bear, I was a big boy. But the briefs were a perfect fit. Alice then took more clothes from the little boy's closet, and soon I was wearing Barney socks, a white turtleneck and red corduroy overalls.
Alice had to take off the scarf when she put the turtleneck over my head, and for a few seconds I felt a big fidgety and nervous, and I even started to think that I didn't want to wear the Bear briefs anymore, but as soon as the scarf was back around my neck I felt okay again.
Then Alice dressed me in a powder blue snowsuit, matching mittens and bright red boots, all the while telling me how cute I looked, and how much she was enjoying looking after me. and I was ready to go outside
When I get to the front door, I remember that I'm not allowed to cross the road by myself, how would I get to the shops without crossing the street? I felt a bit nervous about that, but I didn't want Alice to think I wasn't a big boy, so I reached up for the door handle, and it was a lot higher than I remembered, I could barely reach it. And then I realised that I wasn't sure how to get to the shops. And besides, what was I going to do there, anyway? I couldn't remember Things were starting to get a bit fuzzy in my head, and I was feeling all confused.
I stood there, unsure of what to do, and Alice bends down and adjusts my scarf, bringing the soft wool under my chin. The scarf feels all fluffy and nice and I feel all better.
Mummy says do I want her to help me build a snowman in the garden, and I say yes. Mummy says I'm all wrapped up and cosy and ready to go play, so she puts on her coat and we go outside.
We have lots of fun in the snow, and Mummy helps me roll the snow for the snowman. We find sticks for the arms and stones for his buttons, and Mummy even gets a carrot from the kitchen for his nose.
When the snowman is finished, Mummy gets her camera and takes a picture of me in the snow. She says today is an extra-special day and that she should take a picture of me.
I stand still long enough for the picture, then I run around the snow in my red boots. I like my red boots. I can't remember when I got them, but they're nice and bright, and Mummy says I look cute in them.
Then I get tired and feel a bit cold. Mummy says it's lunchtime and we go inside. I get fish-fingers and chips and Mummy cuts the fish-fingers up and lets me eat them with my fingers. I drink a big drink of milk from my special sippy cup.
Then we go to the living room and I sit on Mummy's lap and watch Bear in the big blue house and it's really fun. After Bear I do a big yawn and Mummy says it's time for little boys to take their nap. She carries me through to my bedroom and changes me into my blue sleepers. I want to keep my Barney briefs on but Mummy says I have to wear my pullups in case I tinkle by mistake when I'm asleep. I get into bed and Mummy closes the curtains and sits down on the bed and strokes my hair. I want to stay awake so Mummy can read me a story but I'm all sleepy after building the snowman and eating the fish sticks watching Bear and before I get a chance to ask about the story I fall asleep.
****
When I wake up, I'm more or less myself again. I still feel a little foggy, but I know that I'm not really a little boy, and that Alice isn't really my mother. I rub my eyes and get out of bed, grimacing at my juvenile pyjamas.
I walk quietly out of the room and down the hall. As I approach the master bedroom, I can hear Alice's voice, and it's clear that she's on the telephone. I stand at the closed door and listen.
'No, he doesn't know....I don't think I will tell him...oh, you should see him, he's so sweet. I thought that it would just be for the weekend, but he's so care-free, so happy, I want to keep him like this. James always told me how much he enjoyed his childhood, and now here's a chance for him to have a second one...Well, now that I've inherited all that money, I can afford to do this. If I keep him as little Jimmy, he'll be my happy little boy, and he won't interfere with the money, either. Things will be down to me, for a change.'
I stepped away from the door, horrified. Alice had turned me into a child on purpose, and she was planning on keeping me this way. I had to get away, I had to get help. I was about to go back to the boy's bedroom when I hear Alice say something else.
'Besides, I was rather dreading bringing him back to adult size and explaining the trick with the scarf.'
So it was the scarf. Glad that I had this key piece of information, I walked back down the hall.
I quickly put the blue snowsuit and red boots back on. It was hard work, my fingers weren't as nimble as they'd been as an adult, but I managed it. Then I put on my mittens and stuff the scarf into the pocket of my snowsuit. I knew that couldn't afford to let the scarf touch my skin, but I also knew that I had to take it with me - it was crucial evidence if I stood a chance of having my story believed and getting myself returned to normal.
It was hard to leave the bedroom. My three-year-old body was tired, and some of the childish feelings were remaining with me, I just couldn't shake them off. I had a fear that even if I avoided contact with the scarf, prolonged time as a little boy would end with me having the mental, as well as physical age, of a three-year-old.
I crept around to the back door, so Alice wouldn't see me leave. A piece of good luck, the door wasn't locked, and I slipped out of the house.
SUSAN
So I'm driving along and I spot a little boy, he can't be more than three years old, standing on the pavement. Weird thing is, he's by himself, and there aren't any houses and when I slow down, he walks out into the road and waves furiously at me.
I stop the car and get out. The boy gets back onto the pavement and waits for me. He's wearing a light blue snowsuit, red boots, and red mittens. There seems to be one end of a red and blue striped scarf peeking out of his pocket. He has blond hair and blue eyes, and his chubby cheeks are red from the cold.
'Hello there, sweetie. You're a long way from home, I bet.' The little boy seems anxious, but he's not in tears, and when he speaks, he seems far older than I had first thought. 'I'm in trouble. Can you take me to see the police people, please?'
'What happened, honey? Have you lost your mummy?'
The boy says, 'The lady who says she's my mummy...she isn't. She's really...um...my wife.' The little boy seemed embarrassed at telling me he had a wife. 'Anyways, she...did somethin', or somethin' happened to me and made me little, but really I'm all grown up.
Turning grown men into children, such things don't happen, it was clearly a fantasy. I crouched down and patted the boy on the head. 'Okay, sweetie, let's get you home to Mummy before you catch a cold. And on the way you can tell me all about your really being a 'big boy', okay?'
But the boy ducks away from me and says, 'stop, don't talk to me like I'm little. It makes it harder for to think, everything gets fuzzy and the words get real hard.' The boy had a look of great frustration on his face and he said, 'it's getting harder to talk like a big boy and I know I look little and stuff but I pwomise...promise I'm big.'
The look on his face...there was something different about this boy, a look in his eyes that suggested there was indeed more than a little boy's mind behind them. It was impossible, but perhaps his story was true. I decided that whatever the truth was, I needed to get him in the car, and to a police station. I wasn't sure how long he'd been outside but it was a very cold afternoon, and besides, I was keen to find out whether he had been reported missing.
'Okay, I'll take you to the police and we can tell them your story.' The little boy smiled with relief. 'Thanks,' he said, sticking out his hand. 'I'm Jimmy...I mean James.'
I shook his little mittened hand with my own gloved one, and smiled. 'I'm Susan, pleased to meet you.'
I put James into the childseat that I used for my nephew. He hadn't wanted to use it, but I told him that it would be safer.
We spent a couple of minutes in silence; I had to concentrate on my driving as there was ice on the road. Once we approached the town, I said, ''So, James, what's the proof that you've got?' There was no answer, and when I looked in my mirror, I could see that he was sound asleep.
I found a parking place around the corner from the police station. I saw that James was still asleep He looked so sweet, and it seemed a shame to wake him up, but I knew we had to get help. I unbuckled the childseat, and seeing the scarf in his pocket, tied it around his neck. A piece of paper had come out with the scarf, and fell onto the seat beside him. I opened it up, and read, 'Marcus Thomson, Evergreen House, Turndale.'
James's eyelids fluttered open, and he yawned, smiled, then to my surprise said, 'Where's my mummy?
'Uh, honey, remember what happened. You told me that your mummy, I mean your wife, she did a bad thing to you. She made you into a little boy, remember?'
James giggled. 'That's silly.'
'Um, how old are you, sweetie?'
'I'm three,' James said proudly.
'I see. So you were just pretending before, about being a grown up. About being a big boy?' James gave me a confused look.
I tried a different approach. 'I found a piece of paper in the same pocket as your scarf. Is your name Marcus?'
'Nuh-uh, I'm Jimmy.' He started to wriggle in his car-seat. 'Are we going to see mummy now?' I pressed on. 'Do you live in Evergreen House, Jimmy?'
The little boy nodded. 'Uh-huh, Evergween, mummy and me live there. Are we going home now?' I sighed, feeling pretty stupid. He had seemed...there had been something about him before, something that made me believe his story. But now he was, well, acting his age, and there was no point taking him into the police station, especially now that I had his address. 'Yes, Jimmy, we're going home. Perhaps your mummy can explain things'.
ALICE
When the car pulls into the drive, I rush to the front door and pull it open. I had only just discovered that James had disappeared, and I couldn't think what to do.
The car door opened and a woman got out. She called over, 'I have your little boy.'
I was wary. Perhaps Jimmy had told her what had happened to him. He seemed to be completely regressed now, but what if he hadn't been before? Surely he must have regained some of his adult mind, otherwise why did he run off in the first place? What had he told her?
'Oh, thank you!' I called out, and rushed over to the car. The woman took Jimmy out of a carseat and handed him over to me. I hugged him tight. 'Jimmy, you had me so worried!'
Jimmy had a questioning look on his face, then burst into tears.
'Oh, let's get you inside, sweetie, ' I said. 'And please,' I motioned to the woman,'come in, thank you so much for bringing Jimmy home.'
We went into the house, and through to the living room. I wondered what the woman knew. As if on cue, she said, 'My name's Susan. I saw Jimmy on the street as I was driving along, it was clear that he was completely on his own. So I picked him up...he had this extraordinary story, about how he was really an adult but that you'd turned him into a little boy.' At this, Susan laughed, but there was a note of worry in her voice. 'Anyway, I was going to take him to the police station, but I found a slip of paper with a name and address on it - it was in his pocket - and Jimmy recognised the address, so I brought him back here. Funny thing was, it wasn't his name on the paper. It was a 'Marcus.' Susan smiled, but she was clearly looking for a good explanation.
This wasn't something I needed, having someone asking questions. I wasn't sure how convincing Jimmy had been, or what else he'd told her. Perhaps she was playing for time until I said something to incriminate myself. Then she took off her gloves, and I decided to take a chance.
'Oh yes, funny story behind that. Oh, Susan, could you take Jimmy's snowsuit off, he looks rather hot. I'll make some tea.'
'Sure,' Susan said, and I went into the kitchen and filled the kettle.
As I'd hoped, when I got back to the living room a quickly regressing Susan had touched Jimmy's scarf with her skin. In fact, she was holding it in her hands, a dreamy look on her face.
I sat down beside her. 'Hi, Susie, are you feeling okay?' Susie smiled. 'Uh-huh.'
'You know, I know when little girls come here to visit they like to have a tea party. I wonder if you'd like to have a tea-party, Susie.'
Little Susie, getting smaller by the second, nodded enthusiastically. 'Yeth please!,' she lisped. Then her face fell slightly. 'But I forgot my dolly.'
I smiled. 'That's okay, sweetie. We can go through to your room and find you a nice dolly, and we can get you some pretty clothes to wear, something special for the tea party. Susie beamed. I took her hand and we went through to the little girl's bedroom. I tied the scarf around her neck, to make sure it didn't loose contact with her skin. It certainly would spoil the outfit a little, but I had to keep the scarf working on her for the entire evening. I wasn't going to make the same mistake I did with Jimmy. But Susie didn't seem to mind the scarf.
I tied pink ribbons in Susie's hair, making a pair of cute pigtails. 'There now, doesn't that feel nice.'
Susie reached up and touched the ribbons. 'Pretty ribbons,' said Susie happily. 'Pretty as a princess,' I confirmed with a smile. 'Let's get you dressed properly for this tea party, shall we?' And Susan was soon wearing thick white tights, shiny black mary janes and a pink velvet dress with blue flowers. She was all ready for the tea party, and I didn't have to worry about her revealing the secret of the scarf or Jimmy's transformation with anyone. And she looked adorable. I was tempted to keep her as a sister for Jimmy. Make that a big sister for Jimmy.
JIMMY
Susie falls asleep before me, even though she's older. Mummy tucks her into bed and then we go through to the nursery 'cause Mummy wants to show me something.
I look at the crib and the baby toys. I'm glad I'm not a baby. Baby toys are boring. I don't have to wear nappies or anything like that. I only wear pullups at bedtime 'just in case' and I hardly ever make a tinkle in them.
Mummy picks me up and sits down in the rocking chair with me in her lap. She says I was naughty for running away in the afternoon. I don't remember much about what I did, but I know I was bad for doing it. I tell her I'm sorry. Mummy says she likes me being a little boy, but perhaps if I was a baby she wouldn't have to worry about me thinking I was big enough to go off on my own without Mummy.
I frown, and tell Mummy I don't want to be a baby. Mummy just smiles and takes a blue dummy out of her pocket. She says that she's not sure if I want to be a baby or not, but she has an idea. She says that she'll put the dummy in my mouth and if I suck on it I want to be a baby, and if I don't suck on it I want to be a little boy.
I say I don't want to suck on the dummy but Mummy says she has to put it in my mouth first to be sure, so I open my mouth and Mummy puts the dummy in.
I'm sure I won't suck on it, but when it's in my mouth I feel all fuzzy and I forget that I don't want to suck on it. Mummy says that I look just like a little baby but I don't mind. I like sucking on the dummy, it feels nice and makes me feel all nice and warm but I'm not a baby. I think that I'll pretend I like being a baby, just so I can keep sucking on the dummy.
Mummy asks if I like being her little baby and I nod, even though I don't really want to be a baby, I just like sucking on the dummy. Then I feel my pullups get all warm and wet and Mummy says that I've made a really big tinkle in them. She takes off my sleepers and my pullup and cleans me up.
Then Mummy put big white thing between my legs. I not remember what big white thing called. Then Mummy say the name. Mummy says she's putting on my nappy, so I don't make my sleepers all wet when I go night-night. I don't mind wearing the nappy, it feels soft and fluffy, just like my scarf. Mummy puts new sleepers on me, they're still blue but they're really little but they fit me okay somehow. Mummy takes the dummy out of my mouth and asks me if I like my baby sleepers. I want to tell her that I do but I can't seem to make the words come out right. All I can do is make funny noises. I look up at her and drool runs down my chin. Mummy laughs. She puts my dummy back in my mouth. 'There you go, Jimmy, you can have your dum-dum back. Now let's get my baby boy in his crib.' Mummy carries me over to the yellow crib and puts me down.
Then Mummy says that she's going to keep me as a baby 'cause then I won't run away again and think I'm a big boy. She says she's glad she had a special dum-dum, in case she wanted to make me really little. She says that maybe she'll let me grow up and be a big boy one day, as long as I'm good. Then Mummy says other stuff but I don't know the big words. It gets hard to know any of the words and then I don't know what Mummy says except for 'mummy' and 'jimmy' and 'baby'. I listen to her soft talk and I get sleepy and Mummy kiss me goodnight. I suck on my dum-dum and my eyes get all droopy and I go night-nights.
THE END