Wednesday
"Eric! Hurry up!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Don't rush me."
"Mom said you have to do this."
"I know. And I'm going to. But I'm in high school, and I'm not going to be rushed by some snotty third grader."
"Betcha you liked it as much as I did when you were little!"
"I like riding my bike, just not with little kids"
"It's too bad I'm not the older brother. I wouldn't be this slow."
"It's too bad I'm not the younger brother. I wouldn't be this annoying."
"Yeah you would...it's the little brothers job."
"Gee. Then you must be up for a raise."
"Funny. I guess we could pretend I'm the older brother."
"Why would we do that?"
"So I could show you how incredibly slow you are."
"Frankly, I don't really care. Mom said I had to go riding with you, and I am. I'm not arguing over speeds."
"Well, just hurry up."
"I'm COMING"
Brian began calculating on his fingers.
"If you're not sure, there are five of them," Eric snapped
"If I were the older brother, I'd be 12...and you'd be six."
"How did you get that?"
"My way."
"Ah. So it's probably wrong"
"We, at least I figured it out today! Are you ready YET?"
"Okay, I'm ready."
"Finally! I still say if I were twelve and you were six this would be going faster and better."
"And if up were down, you'd be smart."
"So funny. Are you coming?" Brian tore off down the pavement, with Eric rapidly catching up.
"I can still ride faster than you can, little boy."
"Not if you were six...you wouldn't be able to keep up!"
"You're really obsessing over this."
"Well, it'd be cool...didn't you ever want to be the little brother?"
"Oh, sure. You get treated so much better than I do."
"But you can do all sorts of stuff I can't. Like ride your bike alone."
"Yeah, but you can do more than I could at your age."
"I didn't even get a bike until I was 9."
"Uphill both ways in the snow, huh? Anyhow, you're thirteen now...and middle school has got to be better then elementary."
"You wouldn't even understand. You have so much more freedom than I did, and...what? I mean, yeah, I guess, it's better than elementary school."
"Well, maybe we could convince mom to let you be the little brother for a while...if you really want too..."
"What? How would that work?"
Well, We could trade. I could do your chores, and mom could let me do what you do, and you could do my stuff..."
"Give me a break. There's no way I'd trade."
"Besides, you're not mature enough to do most of my things."
"Sure I am...you're not that much older then me. Besides, I thought you said I had it easier?"
"But I'm still older than you. That's why my chores are my chores and yours are yours. You have it easier than I *did*. Besides, I'm not worried about doing your little chores, I'm saying you couldn't do mine."
"I betcha I could."
"Of course you think you could. That's why you're immature."
"Besides, if I couldn't it isn't like you'd be in trouble."
"Yeah I would. It's my responsibility."
"Not if we traded."
"Mom would never agree."
"Bet she would. You're only a year older then me, after all."
"Fine. You ask her, and if she's okay with it, then I'm happy to stick you with my chores. Only I'm more...I mean...my stuff might be harder then you think. I used to do it, remember?"
"Not all of it."
"Most of it."
"I mean, you're having a hard time keep up with me as it is."
"I'm probably just in a lower gear."
"Sure...is Mrs. Alberston still teaching second grade?
"No. It's Mrs. Mahoney now."
"Good...they finally forced that which to retire...lucky you."
"Mrs. Mahoney is pretty cool."
"That's good, I guess. I think she was teaching first grade when I was there."
Distracted by the conversation, Eric missed a branch on the ground, tipping his bike over. "Oww!"
Brian broke abrubtly and ran over to his younger brother. "You OK?"
Though tears, Eric exclaimed, "My knee!"
Trying to calm him down, Brian hugged him. "Shhhh...it'll be OK."
"It hurts!"
"I think I have a band-aid here somewhere. Here we go." Brian placed a Sesame Street band-aid over Eric's knee. "You gonna be okay?"
"It's a little better."
"Think you can get home?"
"Uh-huh"
"C'mon...maybe we should put your training wheels back on"
"I don't need train'n wheels!"
"Whatever you say. C'mon!"
"'kay" Eric cautiously got on his bike again.
"You'll be fine."
"Yeah! I'm a big boy, I can ride a bike!"
"Yep...all of six years old!"
"6 and a quarter!"
"Oh, right. Let's go!"
"Yeah!"
They rode back home without incident, put away their bikes, and went inside.
"Mom? Eric hurt his knee!"
"I only cried a little."
"See! I put the Band-Aid on."
As their mother came downstais, Brian whispered to Eric, "You pretended really well."
"I'm a good pretenderer!" He coughed, and looked around in confusion. "I mean, yeah, I can do it when I want to."
"By the way, nice band-aid."
Thursday
"Alright twerp, what do you want?"
Brian revealed the baseball he'd been hiding behind his back. "Guess!"
Eric just rolled his eyes. "Don't you have anything better to do?"
"No. And according to mom, you don't either!"
Eric muttered someting involving the phrase "according too," but not loudly enough for Brian to hear.
"Come on! You have to."
"I don't even know where my glove is. It's been years since I've used it."
"Don't worry, I found it! See, there's no reason you can't play"
"Fine."
"Yeah!" Brian shouted excitedly as the went outside.
"Yeah..." Eric said, with somewhat less enthusiasm.
"Stop that! If I were the older brother, I'd play catch with you!"
"Sure you would."
"Don't you believe me?"
"Why would you? You'd have better things to do with your time."
"Yeah, but I'd still spend time with my brother. Let's try it out...we'll pretend that I'm the big brother, and I'm taking you to play catch."
"What?"
"We'll just pretend." Brian went on in an exaggerated, slow voice, "You're real excited that I'm playing catch with you, right Eric?"
Eric rolled his eyes and nodded his head, feigning excitement.
"Okay, we have to cross the street to get to the park. You'd better hold my hand."
Rolling his eyes again, Eric took hold of Brian's hand.
"Okay Eric, let's look both ways."
Both boys made a show of looking both ways down the street.
"Okay Eric, here's your glove. Stand there."
"OK, I'm ready!"
"OK"
Brian tossed the ball likely to Eric, who caught it and threw it back. Brian threw again, a little harder, and Eric missed.
"That was a good try."
"But...I shoula caught it."
"That's okay. Maybe catch is too hard. You wanna play hide and seek instead?"
"No...I'm a good catcher!"
"Sure you are...but even good 6 year old catchers miss a lot of balls"
"But...I'm not six...I'm a big boy...like you!"
"Oh...well, why don't I throw another ball, then."
"Yeah!"
Brian threw the ball, hard.
"OWW!"
Brian ran over "Sorry, I shouldn't have thrown it that hard."
"It hurts!"
"Well, let me see it."
Eric took off the glove, revealing a slightly red palm and fighting hard to hold back tears.
"Ooh, I bet that hurts. It looks like you'll be okay, though. You can cry if you want to."
"But...big boys don't cry!"
"Oh. You sure you don't need to cry?"
Eric nodded resolutely. "I'm a big boy! Not a baby."
"That's right, you're a big six year old!"
"Six...I'm older, aren't I?"
"Than six? That's pretty silly. Remember, you're half my age?"
"I'm six and a quarter! That's more then half your age."
"Oh, that's right."
Eric grinned, happy to have outsmarted his brother.
"Want to play hide and seek, Eric?"
"It's not so fun with only two people. Could we go get ice cream?"
"Sure. Race you to the truck!"
Brian initially took the lead, but let Eric win.
"I beat you!"
"Yup. You're fast."
"But you let me win."
"No I didn't."
"Really?"
"Yup. You're just really fast."
"So, what ice cream do you want?"
"Cookies n' Cream!"
"Okay." Brian lifted Eric up so he could order.
"Can I have a scoop of Cookies n' Cweam, please?"
"Are you ready to go back?"
"Yeah, I guess. I wish I could play catch better."
"When you're older."
"But you'll always be bigger'n me."
"Well, we'll see." Brian grinned to himself as they walked back home. "So, did you have a good time?"
"Yeah! Except my hand got hurt...see?"
"Oh, that's right. Have you tried putting some ice cream on it? That's cold, so maybe it'll feel better."
"OK!" And with that Eric upended the rest of the ice cream onto his hand.
"See, I told you that if I were the big brother I'd play catch with you."
Eric blinked as if just waking up. "What's going on?"
"You stuck your hand in the ice cream for some reason, I guess."
Eric rushed out of the room.
Friday
"WAKE UP!"
Brian pulled his pillow over his head. "Go away."
"It's morning!" Eric pulled the pillow away.
"I don't want to go to school!"
"At least you've got it easy!"
"If you want it, you be the little brother! You be better off than me, 'cause I'd be nicer about waking you up, too."
"As if that were an option."
"Well, we can pretend for the morning. You'll at least get the benefit of being woken up nicely."
"Sure, if it'll get you up."
"So, you lie down, and I'll wake you up."
Rolling his eyes, Eric lay on the bed and pretended to be asleep.
Brian gently shook him. "Eric, it's time to get up."
"I don' wanna!"
"Well, Eric, you have to."
"Besides, don't you like first grade."
"I like sleep better."
"Come on, Eric, up you go." Brian pulled him up. "Do you need some help getting dressed?"
"Help me get dressed? Are you nuts?"
"Well, most SIX year olds don't know how to dress themselves"
"But I'm not...."
"We're pretending, remember?" Brian whispered.
"Fine," snapped Eric, adding his trademark eye-roll.
"How about your favorite digimon underwear?" And, to Eric's surprise, he pulled a pair of digimon underwear out of Eric's drawer.
"Those aren't gonna fit me!" This didn't see right.
"Sure they will. They're your favorites. You wear them all the time." Brian helped Eric out of the PE uniform he wore to bed and into the underwear.
"How'd you do that?"
"Shh! Pretend!"
Brian then helped him put on a t-shirt and shorts to match the underwear.
"We're gonna do subt'acion today!"
"Wow. Subtraction is tough. But I bet you'll be really good at it. We'd better go downstairs for breakfast. Let me just change first."
As they walked downstairs, Eric kept talking. "You really think I'll be good?"
"Yeah. You were good at addition, remember?"
"Yeah but this is different!"
"Don't worry about it. You'll do fine. Ooh! Pancakes. And Mom made ones with chocolate chips for you." Brian helped Eric into his chair.
"My favorite! Why don't you have chocolate chips Brian?"
"Mom says I'm too old for them, and they're not healthy."
"But...that's not fair!"
"She only makes them for you because you won't eat pancakes without them."
"Well...they taste better this way." Eric smiled and started pouring maple syrup. Brian grabbed at the bottle when it began pouring all over the plate and threatening to spill onto the table.
"That's too much. You poured half the bottle!"
"Did not!"
"Just...be more careful. Are you finished?"
"Yeah...'m done."
Brian washed the place while Eric got his backpack.
"Um, Eric, you have chocolate all over your mouth. You'd think at 15 you'd be too old for chocolate pancakes."
Eric looked startled. "You can never be too old for cholate pancakes."
"Whatever. What's in your backpack?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"All those lumps. What are they?"
"Oh...nothing."
As Eric turned to walk out, Brian managed to unzip if far enough to see the teddy bear underneath.
Saturday
"It's not fair that I have to do what you say just because Mom and Dad are out."
"Look, I know mom and dad are out, but can't you entertain yourself for a few hours?"
"That's not fair! Why can't we do something together?"
"Becuase I don't want to do any of your stuff, and I don't want you messing with my stuff."
"That's not true. There are playstation games we could play together."
"What games? You can't even think of any, can you?"
"Well, we have Driver 2!"
"Bor-ing! When was the last time you saw me play that?"
"It's a cool game. You only won't play it because you know I like it. If I were older, I'd *want* to play it with you!"
"Wonderful. You're not older, though."
"Yeah, but I should be."
"Should be?"
"I'd be a better big brother than you are. The only reason you're the big brother is because you were born first."
"That is generall y the way it works."
"But it's not FAIR!"
"Neither is life. Get over it."
"But you're not being fair! You should play Driver with me!"
"Why?"
"Because it's a fun game."
"I don't think it is."
"But you're just saying that 'cause you don't want to play with me."
"Maybe so...you can't change it, if I am."
"Admit it. If I were the big brother, I would play it with you."
"You might...you don't know what it's like to be the big brother."
"Well, let's try it."
"Huh?"
"We'll pretend you're the little brother, and see what happens."
"Look, mom left me in charge..."
"We'll just be *pretending*"
"Right...so how old am I going to be for the duration of this?"
"Um...six"
"What about you? Fifteen?"
"How about twelve?"
"Better, I guess."
"What do you want to do while Mom and Dad are out, Eric?"
Eric put on a sarcastic, whiny voice. "PLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE can I play with your Playstation?"
"Well...do you promise to be really careful with it?"
"Yes. Not like when you broke one of the controllers."
"You're not pretending!"
"Well, you did!"
Brian sighed. "Yes, Eric, you may play with MY playstation. How about Bugs Bunny?"
"That's so stu--" Brian shot him a look, and Eric rolled his eyes. "Yeah."
Brian set up the game and handed a controller to Eric, who immediately began playing.
"Do you remember how to play?"
"I think so."
"Are you having fun?"
"It's kinda slow."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Maybe you're just having trouble with the controller. I mean, it's a little big for a six year old's hands."
"But I'm a good player!"
"Sure you are."
"I am! But it isn't working!"
"What isn't?"
"The game! It doesn't do what I want it too"
"Well, would you like to try something easier?"
"Like what?"
"Well, we have 102 dalmations."
"OK. Then I can pretend I'm a puppy!"
Brian set up the game, and Eric began playing, letting out high pitched barks occasionally.
"Shh, Eric. You can't be that loud."
Eric lost interest in the game and started jumping up and down, trying to climb on Brian. "I'm a puppy! ARF! ARF!"
"Eric! Calm down!"
"Don' wanna!"
"Bad Eric. You have to behave while Mom and Dad are gone."
"Why do I hafta listen to you?"
"You're not mom or dad!"
"You're gonna be in lots of trouble if you don't behave."
"Awwww..."
"Are you gonna behave? Because if not, you can't use my playstation."
"Promise I can use the playstation?"
"Yes, but only if you're good."
"OK." Eric stopped jumping around.
"Now, what do you want to play?"
"Bugs Bunny!"
"Alright." He set it up, and Eric began playing. "You having fun?"
"Yeah!"
"I'm surprised you like it, since Mom and Dad got it for me. And I thought it was immature."
"Huh? But...I wouldn't play this..."
"I mean, it wasn't exactly marketed towards fifteen year olds. But hey, whatever you like."
"What's going on?"
"You said you really wanted to play, remember?"
"Yeah, sorta. Everything seems a little off. I'm gonna go take a na...er, lie down. OK? Don't make trouble, and yes, you can use the playstation."
"Thanks, big brother."
Sunday
"I can't believe I'm stuck escorting you to the pool."
"It's not like I'm gonna follow you around or anything. You won't even notice I'm there."
"Easy for you to say. I can't just ignore you. I'm *responsible* for you, according to Mom."
"You make it sound so horrible."
"Trust me, it is."
"I bet I could do it. Hey...why don't I?"
"Do what?"
"We could pretend I'm the older brother. I'll watch you instead."
"Well, it's fine with me. That way I can have fun and you'll be stuck worrying."
"YEAH! OK little Eric...let's go get your Pokemon swim trunks on, OK?"
"Do what?!"
"Put your swim trunks on. They're your favorite, remember?"
"My *Pokemon* swim trunks? I don't think so."
"Remember? I'm the responsible one. Now Com'on!"
"Oh, excuse me, we're 'pretendin.' Sure. Let's put on my *pokemon* swim trunks."
"You're so slow sometimes."
"No, you're crazy, but whatever."
Brian found pokemon swim trunks in Eric's dresser. "Here ya go, Eric."
"I...those really have pokemon on them..."
"They're your favorite, remember?"
"Right..."
"You'll be the coolest six year old at the pool!"
"Yeah!"
"Here's your swim shirt, too," Brian said, offering him a Pokemon shirt.
"'kay"
"Now, lemme change and we'll get going."
"When we get to the pool, I'm gonna, gonna, jump over the diving board, and make a big splash!"
"Whoa there, little guy, we have to get there first. Here're your Barney sandals."
"Let's go! Let's go!"
"I'm coming!"
Eric fidgeted the entire way to the pool, and as soon as he got there, dived into the water making a small splash. "Did you see my splash!"
"Yeah! I'm surprised...most Six year olds are afraid of being that high up."
"Not me! I like splashing. You make one now!"
"OK" Brian did a cannonball off of the high dive.
"That was a big splash! Will I be able to make splashes like that someday?"
"Of course! I'm just bigger then you, is all. Wanna go swim in the kiddie pool?"
"Yeah"
"OK...com'on, but don't run."
"Come on!"
"Don't run! We'll both get in trouble."
"I wanna swim!"
"OK OK Swim, then!"
"don't go too deep, though."
"But I'm a good swimmer!"
"Yeah, but you're not very big, and I'll get in trouble if you get hurt. So be careful, OK?"
"I'll be careful. And I won' dive unless you're watching."
"Good." Brian sat on the steps watching Eric play. "Tell me if you're getting tired, too."
"I'm having fun! Can I dive again?"
"Sure."
"Yeah!" Eric dived in again. "That splash wasn't as big." He raced around to the board and dived again. "Yeah! Did you see that!"
"You're a good diver!"
"I'm gettin tired."
"Wanna go home?"
"Yeah."
"OK. Mom said we had to walk."
"But next time, I'll be bigger, so I'll make a bigger splash!"
"Here's your towel"
Eric ineffectively tried to dry himself off.
"Just wrap it around your shoulders."
"'kay."
They began the walk back home. "Y'know Eric, those trunks really fit you."
"Thanks. Wait. Where did these come from?"
"I wouldn't wanna wear them, myself. But you had a blast."
Monday
"No Brian...why would you want to wear my clothes as pajamas anyway?"
"Because they're comfortable."
"They're huge on you!"
"But their comfy to sleep in."
"Alright...if you can find me something comfy to sleep in too!"
"Okay...but it's not fair that you get to go to bed later than me."
"I'm older! That makes it fair."
"That's your answer to everything."
"That's the way life works. If you were the big brother you'd say the same thing."
"No I wouldn't."
"Yes you would!"
"Well, let's try it."
"NO!"
"We'll jsut pretend."
"Last time we did I ended up in Pokemon swim trunks. Pretend is a stupid game anyway."
"That's silly. It's not my fault you own pokemon swim trunks. We'll just pretend. I'm the big brother and I'm putting you to bed."
"I'm not gonna play. Your just immature, anyway."
"You're not playing. Come on Eric, it's your bed time"
"No it isn't!"
Brian sighed. "Yes, Eric, it is."
"No it isn't!"
"Eric, you're going to get in a lot of trouble if you don't go to bed."
"Just because you're in you're own little world doesn't mean I have to play along."
"Now, I'm going to get your pajamas, and then you're going to cooperate with putting them on, okay?"
"No."
"Besides, I don't wear pajamas..." Eric trailed off as he saw Brian pull a Pokemon sleeper from Eric's dresser. "Wh...wh...where did that come from?"
"Now, are you going to put them on?"
"NO!"
Brian grabbed Eric's shirt and tried to pull it off.
"Hey! Stop it!"
"Eric, you have to get ready for bed."
Eric clutched at his shirt. "It's not my bedtime!"
"Yes, Eric, it is."
"Brian, I am 15 you are 8. It is not my bedtime"
"I know you like your Barney shirt, but it's time to change for bed now."
"You are nuts! I'm not wearing a..." Stunned to see that he was, Eric stopped resisting.
"Very good. Now your pants." Brian began pulling off Eric's pants, and Eric promptly sat down to stop him.
"Eric! You're being very bad."
"I'm not six!"
"Fine, you're not. Sorry. You're six and a quarter, okay?"
"I'm 15!"
"Now do you want to take of your pants or should I?"
"You're not strong enough to take them off! I'm bigger then you."
"Eric, why are you acting like such a baby tonight?"
"I am not!"
"This is because you want to wear your digimon underwear under your sleeper again, isn't it? Well fine, if it'll get you to bed I'll let you do it as long as you don't tell mom."
"I wanna wear your uniform! It's comfy!"
"I mean....it's MY uniform...and I'm gonna wear it!"
"You can't wear my uniform. It won't fit."
"But it's comfy!"
"Fine. If it'll get you to bed you can wear my PE uniform." Brian pulled off Eric's pants and helped him into the PE uniform. Eric stood up, holding onto the pants to prevent them from falling down.
"Eric, it looks rediculous on you. It won't even stay up."
"It's fine!"
"Hand it over, buddy. It's gonna be a while before you wear one of those again."
"Can I just wear the shirt, pleaaassssseeeeee?"
"No, Eric. When your older."
Eric reluctantly hand over the uniform, almost to the point of tears. Brian put him into the sleeper, and Eric collapsed on to his bed, crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm the big brother, aren't I? I mean...I remember..."
"Don't be silly. You were pretending, remember?"
"But...wasn't I? I don't get it. I wanna be big like you!"
"You will be, someday."
Eric rolled over hugging a stuffed animal.
"Good night, little brother," Brian said, shutting the door behind him.