Chapter 7: Old Memories Brought Back
It was a good amount of time until the third session. But I still felt refreshed from the second one, so I didn’t really think about it. I did enjoy being back to my normal life, and I definitely didn’t want to think of myself as a baby. But although my memories of these sessions had a tendency to distract me in important situations, it almost felt like they completed me. I have so much stress in my life, and other than my friends and Carol, it’s hard for me to find release. Our baby-sitting sessions gave that to me on a whole new level. I was in another world when I was a baby. It was a good balance to my normal life; one second I could be the badass pitcher that my whole baseball team depended on, and the next I was a cute little baby who couldn’t help but wet his diaper and have his girlfriend change him. The two ends of the spectrum together gave me a sense that I could do it all.
By the time the third session came around, , however, I was a little apprehensive. I had gotten into doing some extreme sports, like skateboarding and rollerblading, with my friends, and I had gone on a really good strike-out roll as a pitcher. Carol and I had been seeing each other a lot, and I would often be the one whose shoulder she could cry on and whom she could depend on during hard times. We kissed and cuddled often, and we were going out on a lot of dates. You may be wondering why I haven’t mentioned us having sex, but it’s because, well, we don’t. We have ventured in that direction a little, but we’d both rather wait ‘til we get married. It’s just the way we feel, we would rather wait it out.
Anyway, though, because of all these things, I had been feeling particularly manly. And after the embarrassing events of the last session, I wasn’t so eager to become a tiny little baby who needed bottles, naps, and diapers, among other things. But I knew what I had agreed to, and I knew that Carol needed me to pull through for her. So there I was again, on the floor of the church nursery as a naked baby.
I had noticed that mom had taken another small box from our house to the church this time. I didn’t think much of it, assuming that maybe she was contributing to the church diaper supply or something like that.
Carol diapered me again this time, so I think mom was encouraging her to do more and more of my baby duties. She did a good job, and she also put me in a “onesie” this time. If you don’t know, a onesie is one of those things that’s kinda like a shirt, but it’s also attached to the part that covers a baby’s diaper. This one was white with light blue lining, and it had a pattern of little kittens on it.
Afterwards, mom had her fix another bottle and feed me, which was another very enjoyable experience. I felt kinda full after I finished it and I had a funny feeling in my stomach this time. Thankfully, it seemed like mom could sense this, so she showed Carol how to burp me. She put me over her shoulder and lightly patted my back until I let out a cute little burp. It did make my stomach feel a lot better, and for some reason I really felt like I loved mom more than I ever had before. It just seemed like she was doing everything to make sure I was always happy. I would find out later in this session how truly right I was.
Before it was time for my nap, mom had to show Carol how one feeds a baby actual baby food. I wasn’t really looking forward to this, but hey, I didn’t look forward to being turned into a baby the first time either. Mom showed Carol how to put a baby into a high chair, how to put on a bib, and then how to spoon feed a baby from different little jars of baby food. Of course she did all of this with me. She let Carol feed me half of it so she could get the experience. Still though, this wasn’t too bad, mainly ‘cause all I had to do was just sit there and swallow. The stuff was actually pretty good, and unlike any baby I had ever seen, when I was done, my mouth and my bib were pretty clean. Mom noticed this too and said “You’ll basically never feed a baby and have it be this clean. But we’ll give you that experience some other time.”
Well, I had gotten pretty tired by this point, baby food will do that to a guy…uh, baby. So I was actually pretty happy when mom said that it was time for me to take a nap. However, Carol made a request first, both to me and to mom.
“Uh, Ms. Jackson, I feel kinda silly asking this, but before his nap, can I just hold John again?” she asked.
“If it’s ok with you, John, it’s fine with me,” mom replied.
I nodded, “Yeah, sure, if it’ll help you practice more”. I knew it was just because Carol liked holding me in her arms, but at the same time, I really loved it too, even though I tried to hide my enjoyment.
As mom picked me up, there was a sudden breeze and I couldn’t help but shiver. “That onesie sure isn’t very warm, is it John?” mom asked me. “Here, I’ve got a little surprise for you that’ll keep you a little warmer.”
She handed me to Carol and walked over to the box that she had brought with her. To my huge surprise (and though I tried to hide it, my delight), mom pulled out my old baby blanket! I had almost forgotten all of the details about it. It was “baby” blue, and it was covered with designs of this little baby boy in a light blue shirt, a cloth diaper with diaper pins, and a light blue baseball cap. A little puppy played with the boy in the designs too. It was still in pretty good condition.
I couldn’t keep my face from lighting up with joy, and I knew mom could tell. “I thought this might make you happy, John. I know you’re probably a little embarrassed to still like your blankie, but I bet everyone secretly has something from their childhood that they wish they could get back. Believe it or not, I still do.”
I was gonna ask what it was, but before I did, mom came over and wrapped me up in my old blanket. This was a true testament as to how small I was. If I had thought that being a baby couldn’t have gotten any better, I was dead wrong. She handed me over to Carol, who sat down and started rocking me. I was in heaven; it was even therapeutic. I was so warm and cozy, and I felt so secure in the arms of my girlfriend. I let out a little babyish sigh of joy, and then I closed my eyes and just relaxed.
I must have fallen asleep since the next thing I remembered was waking up in the dark. I had forgotten that I was a baby, so because I was in the dark and I just saw bars around me, I was scared. Without thinking, I let out a yell, but in my baby state, it sounded just like a baby crying. Before I did anything else, mom and Carol came in and turned on the light.
“What is it, John?” mom asked. “What’s wrong?”
After remembering where I was, I started to calm down. I was still breathing pretty fast and I was sweating and shivering a little too. To my surprise, though, I hadn’t wet my diaper. I have no idea how I managed that. Mom picked me up and held me up against her body.
“Sorry about that,” I said. I felt kinda silly about it now. “I just forgot where I was, and it scared me a little bit. It’s pretty weird being so small.”
“Well, you gave me a bit of a scare too,” mom replied. “Well, we were gonna work on calming down babies next time, so I guess you gave us a little pre-empt to that.” She then directed her attention to Carol. “It’s ok, Carol. I’ll put him back to sleep. But actually, stay here. Since John fell asleep in your arms, I didn’t get to give you the rest of the tips from last time.”
With that, she set me back down in the crib and went to the box. When she came back, she had too things: a light blue pacifier and my old teddy bear. She popped the pacifier in my mouth and gave me my bear. It was amazing; I don’t know why, but the pacifier soothed me more than almost anything else up to this point; it was a weird sensation to have such a big, soft, rubbery nipple in my mouth, especially since I didn’t have teeth to get in the way. It fit in my mouth so perfectly, and I felt like sucking on it forever. I also utterly loved having my bear back. He was light brown and very soft and cuddly. Between the softness of my diaper, bear, and blanket, and crib, plus the pacifier in my mouth, it was almost impossible for me not to fall asleep.
“Unless the parents tell you not to use a pacifier, they’re really useful for calming babies down or helping them get to sleep. And since I know John used to love his teddy bear, a stuffed animal that a baby is fond of can work wonders.
“There’s only one more thing. Lullabies really do work. I still remember the one I used to sing to John to get him to sleep.”
She then started to hum a very old baby song that I had forgotten all about. But I remembered it now, and that was all it took to push me over the edge and make me drift off to sleep.
When I awoke, I noticed that not only had I wet my diaper, but for the first time, I had messed in it as well. It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world, and it didn’t smell good either.
Mom and Carol came in too, and I knew that they knew what I had done. “Smells like someone has a dirty diaper,” mom said. “Ok, Carol, I’m gonna have you change him again.”
“Ok,” Carol said kind of apprehensively as she picked me up. She laid me down on the table, undid my onesie, and then untapped my diaper. “Whoo, John,” she said. “You really are messy.”
“You better get used to it,” mom told her. “You’ll be changing a lot of dirty diapers.”
After disposing of my dirty diaper, Carol cleaned me up. I kind of felt bad for her having to do it, especially since I had been the one to make the mess. But I knew that like mom said, she had better get used to it. Plus, at least she didn’t have to have poop in a diaper.
After she cleaned me up, she just set me on the floor so I could turn back to normal. I did, and after we gathered all of the stuff together, we left.
Chapter 8: I Take an Active Role
Our next session was actually only a few days later, so not much important happened in between it. I had almost gotten used to being babied, but I still had slight feelings of embarrassment. However, I also still got the satisfaction from it, so I wasn’t complaining.
After being turned into a baby and dressed in a pair of overalls this time, mom began to talk to Carol and me.
“Ok, Carol, up until now, you’ve been dealing with a very good baby. John has pretty much just been relaxing and letting us do all of the work. Unfortunately, a lot of the time this isn’t the case. Babies do cry and fuss a lot, and they don’t always stay still when you feed them or change them. They tend to spit up, and you often have to work to calm them down. So, John, you now need to start being a little more difficult. Squirm a little in Carol’s arms while she’s holding or feeding you. Fidget while she’s changing your diaper or dressing you. I know it’s kind of degrading, but make babyish coos and spit up a little on to her. When she’s feeding you, spit food onto your bib and all over your mouth. And when she puts you to sleep, keep on crying until everything is completely all right. You got that?”
“I guess so,” I replied. I have to admit, it was kinda hard at first. This was almost a new level of embarrassment because I had to act like a total baby, not just be babied. I felt so dumb talking baby gibberish or crying. Plus, I hated to do these totally unpleasant things to Carol, knowing that it must be a pain for her to have to deal with them. But I knew that this would help her in the long run.
When she tried to bottle-feed me, I resisted and whined a little. When she spoon fed me, I barely swallowed and made a complete mess. When she was changing me, I squirmed as much as possible and made annoying sounds. When she was holding me, I spit up on her a little bit (I’m sure she loved that). And I didn’t stop crying when she placed me in the crib until I had my blanket, my bear, a pacifier in my mouth (which I spit out a few times), and until she started singing.
Mom encouraged us to play a game to help Carol with calming a baby down. She told me to pick something that Carol needed to do: I chose from needed to be fed, put to bed, played with, rocked, changed, whispered to, given a pacifier, a toy, or a blanket. I would choose one and I wouldn’t stop crying until Carol figured out what it was. This drill was a little bit more fun for me than for Carol, I could see her stressing out.
It was kinda funny, because now our roles were almost reversed. Whereas I had originally felt like she was in total control of me since I was so helpless, I realized that now I was in control of her. She had to attend to my every whim, and do anything she could to please me. It’s funny how babies do that to people; they’re self-centered because they are so helpless.
We continued these drills for a few hours, so when mom told us we were done, we were both relieved. That was definitely enough being a baby for me, and I could tell Carol had had enough baby-sitting for a while. Once I was back to normal, I couldn’t help but apologize to Carol.
“Sorry, sweetie,” I said. “I know I was a little bastard, and it must have gotten very annoying.”
“No, John,” she replied. “It’s exactly what I needed. Now I feel prepared for almost anything. And I know it must have been pretty unpleasant to have to act so infantile.”
“Aw, no sweat,” I said. We then embraced each other, and didn’t let go until it was time for her to go home.
Anyway, Carol was now ready to baby-sit any of the infants in our town. She got hooked up with a few jobs a week, and the pay wasn’t bad. She continued to do it for a few more weeks, and she said that she liked it a lot and was actually having a really good time.
“Babies are so cute,” she told me one time. “I’m really growing fond of them. And after all you put me through, a few messy diapers and spit ups are nothing.”
My life continued on as normal for a while, but every now and then I would have the desire to be babied again. Although she thought it annoyed me, Carol would sometimes baby-talk me when we were together. My friends always laughed when she did this to me in front of them, but I wasn’t bothered. In fact, it was pretty funny, some of their girlfriends started baby-talking them to. And at least I enjoyed it.
Our sessions weren’t done for good, however. I won’t go into great detail about the other ones, cause they were real similar to the previous four. The main difference is mom turned me into babies of different ages. Sometimes I could crawl or talk, I needed different amounts of sleep, and I could even do a little baby talk sometimes as well. I was sure to make baby-sitting me a living hell for Carol so she would get the experience she needed, and it worked. By the time we had finished a few more sessions, she got baby-sitting jobs for even more parents and really started raking in the money. Plus, I really think she was getting attached to the kids.
Carol would now practice baby-sitting me without mom being there. She knew what to do now, but she wanted to get more practice. Well, that’s what she told me. I really think she liked seeing me as a baby, and I even humored her a few times and just let her hold me and cuddle me while I just relaxed. Hey, I enjoyed it too, so I can’t complain.
Chapter 9: When Disaster Strikes, Humiliation on a Whole New Level
I will, however, recount two episodes during our sessions, no matter how painful it is for me. These two occasions could possibly have been the most humiliated I have ever been in my life. If you could die from embarrassment, I’m sure these would have killed me.
The first incident actually took place pretty quickly. Carol was changing me after I had messed my diaper pretty badly. After she finished wiping me, out of nowhere, I just started peeing. It’s a good thing she had lightning quick reflexes or she would have been covered in it. She just laughed it off, and said in a babyish tone “Aw, did da wittle baby have to go wee wee?” I’m glad that it didn’t bother her, but I couldn’t look her straight in the face for days.
The second was much more enduring, and it could have possibly been the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. But since it was definitely interesting, and maybe even sort of funny to some people, I’ll recount it for you.
One afternoon Carol and I were doing our normal thing in the nursery. We were playing the game where she had to figure out why I was crying, and I had made it particularly difficult for her. In addition, I must have been crying pretty loud, because all of a sudden we heard a door open and a woman’s voice calling, “What’s that noise, is there a baby in here?”
Carol kinda froze, as did I. In walked Mrs. Oakley, one of the women who went to our church. She was in her late forties, with grayish-brown short hair. She wasn’t ugly, but she wasn’t exactly pretty either. She was a pretty nice lady, but sometimes she had a tendency to treat me like a little kid. Carol had been going to our church some since we had been going out, so she knew Mrs. Oakley as well.
“Carol, what are you doing in here, and whose baby is this?” Mrs. Oakley asked, looking at Carol, and then at me.
“Uh,” Carol said. “John’s aunt is in town, and they asked me to take care of him while they went out. And since I wanted to practice my baby-sitting a little more, I took him here.” I had to give her credit, she did a pretty good job of ad-libbing.
“Oh, ok then.” Mrs. Oakley replied. She walked over to the playpen that I was sitting in. “Wow, he actually looks a lot like John. I can tell these two are related. By the way, where is John? He could probably use some baby-sitting practice as well.”
“Uh, he had to work today,” Carol lied.
“Here, let me hold the little fellow.” Mrs. Oakley said. Before Carol could object, Mrs. Oakley lifted me up by the armpits and held me up in front of her face. “Aren’t you just so adorable?” She then shifted me around and held me in one arm, while with the other she lightly pinched my cheeks and my chin, tickled my stomach, and bounced me up and down all the while. “Coochie coochie coo! Who’s a cute wittle boy? Is da baby sweepy?”. She continued to talk babyish gibberish to me and continued to mess with me with her hands.
I was kind of in a state of shock and embarrassment the whole time. My cheeks started to get hot, and I hoped that Mrs. Oakley wouldn’t notice my cheeks getting red. I don’t think she did since she continued to carry on. I tried to think of the best way to just get her to leave. I decided to start crying, thinking that she might think I wasn’t any fun anymore and decide to let Carol take over.
Bad idea, I soon realized. As soon as I started to bawl my head off a little, Mrs. Oakley said, “Aww, is sweetie fussy? Mrs. Oakley knows what will make him happy! His binky!” She went over to the playpen, picked up a pacifier that was inside, and then stuck it right in my open mouth. I tried to spit it out, but she just held it there, saying, “Now be a good wittle boy.” However, as soon as she released it, I spit it to the floor and continued to cry, hoping she would just give up and pass me over to Carol.
Then the worst thing that could have possibly happened took place. As soon as I started to cry with my babyish voice, I felt my bladder let loose and I started to wet my diaper. ‘Oh, not now!’ I told myself ‘Any time but now!’ But I had no control, and my diaper was soon filled with my pee.
As nervousness overcame my body, I stopped crying and just kinda froze. Unfortunately, I was too late. Before I had gotten quiet, Mrs. Oakley said, “Hmm, maybe he’s fussy because he’s wet. I’ll just check his diaper.”
As she said them, these words struck horror deep into me, and I felt Mrs. Oakley reached underneath my onesie (which I was wearing during this session) and placed one finger inside the thigh part of my diaper. “That’s exactly what the problem is! Here, Mrs. Oakley will change you into a fresh diaper and you’ll feel all better!” she exclaimed to me.
I think Carol realized my horror, so she tried to interject. “Mrs. Oakley, let me change him,” she said. “I need some more practice anyway”. At that moment my love for Carol shot through the roof. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to marry that girl.
Unfortunately, this was not to be. “Oh nonsense,” Mrs. Oakley said. “You’ve been changing plenty of diapers with your baby-sitting job already. I’ll take this one.”
Before either of us could object anymore, Mrs. Oakley took me over to the changing table and quickly undid my onesie. “Oh yes,” she said. “Da wittle baby is quite wet. He just went wee-wee all in his dydee, didn’t he?” I doubt that I could’ve gone anymore red. It only got worse as she untapped my diaper, took a baby wipe and started to wipe my whole diaper area. I tried to resist, squirm, and do whatever I could to make things hard for her. But she was much stronger than me, and easily held me down and overpowered me. “Now you be still while Mrs. Oakley wipes your wittle bottom and gets you clean.” She grabbed my ankles and started to wipe my butt and my crack, and then gave me a small little slap on the bottom to make her point clear. She then took some baby powder and shook it onto my butt. “We don’t want da baby to get a diaper rash, now do we?” She took another diaper and put it underneath me. She pulled it over my waist, taped the tapes on really tight, and fastened my onesie back up.
“Now our wittle baby is all clean and dry in his new diaper!” The only thing that made me happy was the fact that this spectacle was over. I felt like crying for real this time. Unfortunately, Mrs. Oakley wasn’t done.
“I know what will make our baby really happy. Some fresh air. I think I’ll take him for a ride in his stroller.” I didn’t think I could be any more mortified, but this did it.
“I don’t think that would be such a good idea,” Carol said. “I think it’s time for his nap.”
“Oh, we won’t be long. And since he’s so fussy, maybe this will calm him down a little.” She then just left Carol there and took me to a stroller that was in another room. It was one of those kinds that looked kinda like a pram (you know, the older baby buggies), but was still a pretty new design. She laid me down in it and strapped me in (“so you won’t try to move around so much” she said). Finally, she put a little baby quilt over top of me, and we were on our way. I still don’t know what Carol did, but I don’t know what I would’ve done in her shoes either.
Although my view was sort of fixed, I could notice some of the people that we passed by as she rolled me along. Thankfully, most didn’t say much, but every now and then a woman would lean over and say “My, what a darling little baby boy!” or something to that effect, and then reach in and mess with me a little. What could I do? I couldn’t say anything or I would immediately give myself away (not to mention make Mrs. Oakley faint, although I would’ve liked that at the moment). However, the walk wasn’t really all that bad. That was until we reached a group of ten year old girls playing on the sidewalk…
As Mrs. Oakley rolled me there, I heard her say “Come see the little baby boy, girls!” I could have punched that woman at that particular point in time. I immediately saw a horde of girls surround the stroller and stare fixedly at me and smile. Many of them then reached in and started to chuck my chin, pinch my cheek, or just play with me. All the while they continually baby-talked me.
“Aww, just wook at the sweet wittle baby!”
“Isn’t he da cutest wittle baby in da world?”
“Goo-goo ga-ga!”
“Coochie-coochie coo!”
This was just too much for me to handle. I didn’t mean too, but I just started crying uncontrollably. Unfortunately, this was just a catalyst to more humiliation.
“Aww, does da baby have a dirty diaper?”
“Maybe he wants his ba-ba?”
“I think he wants his paci.”
“Or maybe his blankie?”
Apparently, Mrs. Oakley thought the second guess to be correct. It seemed as though she had brought along a baby-bottle of milk, because before I knew it, she handed the bottle to one of the girls who then shoved it into my mouth and made me drink it.
“There now,” she said. “Drink up! Da wittle boy wikes his ba-ba, now doesn’t he?”
After I drank some of it down, the whole thing just stopped. Mrs. Oakley said, “Ok, girls, that’s enough. I think he needs a nap now.” With that, she turned around and wheeled me back to the church. I guess she had other business, because she handed me over to Carol and said “Bye bye wittle guy! Night night!”
Once she was gone, Carol just held me up against her while I sobbed away. I told her all about what happened through my tears while she just rocked me back and forth and patted me on the back. “Oh, John,” she said. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I can’t believe you had to go through that. It would be worth me losing all of the money I have earned baby-sitting to prevent that from happening.”
Somehow, her saying this made it all better. As she comforted me, I began to feel like all the torture and humiliation was worth it just to have this moment. I didn’t doubt her love for me or mine for her one single bit.
I stopped crying and said, “Carol, you don’t know how much I love you. You are the most perfect person in the world. You deserve nothing less than your deepest desire in the world.”
“John,” she said. “My deepest desire is just to be with you. You are the kindest, most handsome, and most loving person I have ever met. You are very masculine and manly, but you have a soft side as well. And if I do say so myself, you do make quite a cute baby!”
I laughed at this and felt a lot better. She then undressed me and let me turn back into my normal size. After I got dressed, Carol and I kissed for what was probably the longest time we ever had before. It was the perfect end to the most humiliating day of my life. (By the way, I never did look at Mrs. Oakley the same way again. We really don’t talk much anymore).
Chapter 10: Secrets Revealed
Well, other than that encounter, the rest of the sessions went pretty normally. It eventually got to the point where we stopped having them. Carol had gotten so good at baby-sitting, and both of our schedules became increasingly hectic. Three months passed since the last session we had done.
Although I had gotten used to being normal again, I really started to miss being a little baby again. Even though that one humiliating experience kind of marred me and made me want to refrain from ever being a baby again, as more and more time passed, my mind dwelled on it more and more. It got to the point where I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I would lie awake at night wishing nothing more than to have Carol lovingly diaper me, feed me a baby bottle, put a pacifier in my mouth, and to fall asleep in my crib with my bear and my blankie.
But what could I do? I no longer had an excuse to be turned into a baby, so how could I convince Carol to try it again? I did think that she liked it, but I didn’t want her to know that I liked it. I mean, who would want to be a baby again? The thought was just too embarrassing, and I could picture her just laughing and saying “Am I going out with a guy who is really just a big baby inside? I guess wittle Johnny isn’t the tough guy I thought he was, just a baby who needs his diaper changed, his ba-ba, and his blankie!”
These thoughts continued to haunt me. What if she told her friends that I wanted to be a baby? What if she told my friends? I’d be the laughing stock of the whole baseball team! My friends would constantly tease me and say stuff like “Aww, did little Johnny just strike out because his dydee is wet? Carol, come change Johnny’s diaper before he starts to cry!”
I was caught in this web of confusion. There was no way I could get exactly what I wanted. But after time, I just couldn’t resist. Although it was going to be the hardest thing I had done in my life, I would tell Carol that I enjoyed being a baby again.
She came over for dinner one night, and afterwards, we went up to my room and started talking. I was nervous as hell, and I didn’t know how to tell her. But I just sucked it up, swallowed my pride and opened my mouth to talk to her.
Simultaneously, we both said “I’ve got a secret to tell you.”
“You go first,” I told her.
“Nah, you go ahead,” she responded.
“Here’s what we’ll do,” I said. “Let’s each take a piece of paper and write down our secret. Then we’ll exchange them and read them.”
“Ok,” she said. We both took a pencil and slip of paper. I then started to write:
“Carol, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I uh, I kind of like being a baby again. I know it’s weird, but I just feel so wonderful when you’re taking care of me. I love having you diaper me, feed me, or just hold me. I feel so cuddly, soft, and secure, and I really feel like you love me. You wouldn’t even have to change my diapers, and I would be real quiet and do whatever you want. I know you probably won’t want another baby to take care of, but to be honest, there’s nothing in the world that I would like more.”
As I finished up, so did she. We exchanged notes, and as she read mine, I read hers:
“John, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I uh, I kind of like taking care of you as a baby. I like baby-sitting other babies, but you’re different. It just feels so good to hold you in my arms and feel like I can completely love you and take care of you. I even love changing your diapers, even if they are a little smelly. You’re just so extremely cute and lovable as a baby. I know you probably never want to be a baby again, but to be honest, there’s nothing in the world that I would like more.”
As we finished reading the notes, our eyes just locked. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, and then our faces just lit up. We hugged each other tighter than we ever had before. We both even started crying tears of joy and just laughed.
“Oh, John,” she told me. “I don’t think I could ever be any happier than now. I had this tiny feeling that maybe you liked being a baby, but I didn’t really think it was true.”
“Stupid, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Oh, not at all,” she replied. “I think it’s actually quite nice to see a big masculine guy like you to be able to be really soft like a baby. And I actually find it pretty cute, too!”
I was completely filled with relief. I think I reached a greater level of joy than I had in my entire life. Until an extremely bad thought completely bursted my bubble.
“Oh, no,” I said. “I just remembered. We don’t know how to make the mixture, and there’s no way that mom will believe that you need more baby-sitting practice. And I don’t think I could ever tell mom that I want to be a baby again!”
“Oh, I had a suspicion that that was the case all along,” mom’s voice said as she opened my bedroom door.
Chapter 11: The Details to Our Plan: Fair is Only Fair
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I walked up here right in the middle of your conversation and I couldn’t resist listening. I know I shouldn’t have, but believe me, this is the first time.
“Anyway, like I said, John, I kind of thought that you two both were doing this for more than just practice. Your little baby face looked more happy than I’ve ever seen you when you were being held or having your diaper changed, and Carol’s looked like she was your loving mother who wanted nothing more than to take care of her little baby. And it really isn’t anything to be ashamed of, John. I bet most boys your age would actually enjoy being babied by their girlfriends once they got past the initial embarrassment. You’re still my special guy, and I know that you’ll take care of Carol for the rest of your lives.
“However, I will only let you use the mixture on two conditions. Firstly, you mustn’t get addicted to it. Remember, I raised a sixteen-year old boy, and I don’t want him to suddenly become a baby again. As much as I liked having my baby back for a little bit, I know I have a sixteen-year old son who needs to still act his age most of the time. I still want you to work hard in school, do well at baseball, and keep your job going. Plus I want you to continue to have a good time with your friends and live a normal teenage life.”
I had no complaints with that. Believe me, I had pride in the fact that I wasn’t a baby anymore, and I didn’t want it to overtake my life. Both me and Carol agreed we would limit our sessions to only once every two weeks.
“Now, secondly, I want you two to stop and think about the future a little bit. In not too many years, you two will get married and have babies of your own. And I don’t want to have a son who doesn’t know how to change diapers or rock a baby to sleep. I don’t think it’s very fair for Carol to have to change all those diapers and take care of all that midnight crying. Fair is only fair.”
Mom had a good point. Even though I had learned a lot about babies (firsthand, probably in a way no one else ever had), I still didn’t have any experience actually carrying out the activities. I really didn’t have any hands-on experience. But there was only one problem…
“But where are we gonna get a baby for me to practice with?” I asked. “I mean, it’s not like I can change my own diapers or sing myself to sleep.”
“I think you know the answer to that question,” mom replied. At that moment, it struck me, and both me and mom turned our heads and gave Carol an intriguing look.
“W-wait a second,” Carol stammered. “You, you can’t really be serious! I mean, uh, well, uh…”
“Oh, I think we’re dead serious,” mom said.
“That’s right,” I said with a devilish little smile. “Fair is only fair, right?”
I’m pretty sure Carol realized that there was really no way out for her. She really had no choice; the tables had turned and now she was going to have to be the one who would have to be bottle-fed and diapered (by me, no less!) Although I had nothing against her from our previous sessions, I still remember the embarrassment and silliness that I had felt many a time during our sessions, in particular all of the baby-talk she had given me. Even though I had enjoyed the experience, I felt that payback was going to be sweet.
I put my arm around her. “Come on, Carol, you’ll see, it’s actually pretty fun to be a baby again. Imagine it, being laid down on a changing table, being wiped and powdered, having a nice, soft, thick diaper wrapped around your waist, and then being nursed from a baby-bottle, all by your loving boyfriend!”
Although I saw a look of horror on her face that I had never seen before as I said this, I also detected a very slight look of excitement as well.
For the next few months, we got to see what it was like to reverse roles. Carol was definitely pretty hesitant at first, but I think her curiosity got the better of her (or maybe the fact that she didn’t really have a choice). I have to admit, although I was a little nervous a first, I loved being able to baby my girlfriend completely. And after she warmed up to it some, I could see the peace in Carol’s eyes as mom instructed me how to change her diaper and hold her in my arms. After a while, I didn’t know which either of us enjoyed more, being the baby or the caregiver.
Mom took me through all of the same lessons, and I got to experience changing dirty diapers and messy feedings from the other end (as did Carol). I also experienced stress as I never had before as I struggled to quiet down her crying, and I think she had a little fun payback of her own. However, Carol was spared the experience with Mrs. Oakley (by the way, we had told mom about that little incident).
As time went by, I think I became a pretty solid baby-sitter myself. I even helped Carol out a few times during her jobs and we played and took care of the babies together. It was pretty fun.
Epilogue: Our Baby Experiences Shared
Before I conclude, there are just a couple more things that I thought I’d mention that were quite interesting. One day I just got extremely curious, and Carol and I couldn’t help but offer mom an interesting proposition.
“You know, mom,” I said. “I wanted to ask you, have you ever tried the youth formula?”
“Why, no, I haven’t.” she replied, I could sense a slight tensing of her voice.
“What do you think about giving it a go? You know, being a baby again?”
“Oh, I don’t think so,” she said with a little laugh. “I mean…I don’t think I could.”
“Come on, mom, what do you say? Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to be a baby again? I have to tell you, it is really quite a trip!”
“It’s true, Ms. Jackson,” Carol added. “It really is an amazing experience. It’s so therapeutic!”
After much persuasion, we finally convinced mom to give it a try. Like all of us, mom was definitely embarrassed at first, but as soon as me and Carol taped up that diaper around her waist, she was overcome with a sense of complete bliss. It had to the funniest feeling in the world, holding my own mom in my arms and feeding her a bottle. Although she only did it once, she did tell us it was one of the best things she had done in her life. To think, I was probably the only guy in the world who would ever change his mom’s diaper! Hey, I thought of it as repaying mom for all of the things she did for me when I was a baby. Fair is only fair, right?
There was just one other thing. Although we continued to keep our youth formula a secret, we couldn’t help but share this experience a little bit. My best friend Andrew just happens to be going out with Carol’s best friend Susan. So, we invited them both over to the church one afternoon, and we just happened to slip a little something into their drinks…
Although I had certainly never seen horror in my best friend’s face as I did when I taped that disposable diaper around his waist, I could tell Susan and Andrew found a whole new happiness while I bottle-fed Susan and Carol bottle-fed Andrew. We allowed them both to use the mixture any time that they wanted to enjoy their babyish bliss, and they definitely thanked us for it. And I have to admit, it was quite an experience to hold my best friend in my arms with a pacifier in his mouth, or to see Carol change her best friend’s diaper. Susan really is a sweetheart, and Andrew is quite a cute little guy.
10 years later…..
So basically, unlike in most cases, life has turned out very well for us. We’ve gotten married, had two kids so far (twins, one boy and one girl), and we share the baby-sitting duties. Our life isn’t perfect, but I don’t think that we could be any happier. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll let our son and daughter learn their baby-sitting skills by taking care of each other!