Willow: Yeah, I’ve also done my share of babysitting, Buff. I’ve been doing it since I was ten.
Buffy: Good, ‘cause I really, really need your help.
Willow: We know, Buffy. Cordelia told us.
She gives her friend a hug of concern.
Buffy (starting to cry): What am I gonna do, Will?
Willow: It’s okay, Buffy...you’ll be fine. We’ll all help you.
Cordelia’s pager beeps.
Cordelia: Oops. I gotta go, you guys.
Buffy (surprised): Wh--what??
Cordelia: Sorry. Duty calls.
She hugs Buffy.
Cordelia: Good luck, Buffy. With everything.
Buffy: Thanks, Cordy.
She leaves.
Janice walks out to the living room after coming out of Buffy’s room.
Janice (whispers): I just put her down, Buffy. She’s in a box I made to look like a crib.
Buffy (sighs, grateful): Thanks, Janice.
Janice: No problem. I’ll just check on her every half-hour or so to see if she’s...
Buffy: Still awake?
Janice (taken aback): I was actually going to say “wet”, but...(sighs) (reassuringly) You don’t have to worry about that, Buffy. I put a baby monitor in your room by the (quote marks) “crib”.
Buffy (sighs, grateful): Thanks, Janice.
Willow (disbelieving): Why are you using a box for a crib?? Buffy, I--I can make one in a snap.
Buffy (sighs): I didn’t want to ask you ‘cause I was afraid it might put you out.
Willow: No problem.
She walks into Buffy’s room.
Willow sees baby Dawn in the box and stops to marvel at her adorable appearance.
Willow (smiling): Aww...(baby-talk): You’re so cute, Dawnie!
She takes her out of the box and holds her in her arms, feeling her diaper.
Willow (baby-talk): And so wet! Did wittle Dawnie have a wittle accident in her diapie? Tell you what, sweetie...let Auntie Willow put this up for you and then we’ll go and change that wet diapie, otay?
She touches Dawn’s nose and Dawn giggles.
Willow moves the box out of the way and, waving her hand, materializes a white-wooded crib, lined with a Barney blanket and a Spongebob Squarepants mobile.
Willow takes Dawn over to the changing table and lays her on it, fastening the safety strap.
Dawn (fusses): N--no! No tange!
Dawn fusses and squirms around on the table, feet kicking, arms flailing...the whole package.
Willow (sweetly): Yes, Dawnie...Auntie Willow needs to get that wet diapie off you so you don’t get a rash on your fanny. Now you be a good girl and hold still for me while I get this nasty thing off.
Dawn continues to fuss and squirm.
Willow (smiles): Okay, Dawnie...I’ve handled worse. Here we go.
Willow untapes the diaper and opens it.
Willow: Oooh...someone’s a real heavy wetter.
Dawn cries and squirms on the table.
Willow (calming): Shh...shh...no squirmies, Dawnie-Dawn...be a good girl...it’s okay, Auntie Willow’s done this thousands of times...shh...
Willow places her hand gently on Dawn’s tummy and Dawn slowly stops squirming.
Willow (cooing): Attagirl...
Taking Dawn’s legs with her left hand, she slips the wet diaper out from underneath her bottom.
Dawn fusses and scream and kicks.
As someone walks into Buffy’s room:
Tara (smirks): Need any help?
Willow looks at Tara and smiles.
Willow: That’d be great, baby.
Tara walks in and walks over to the side of the changing table, looking at Dawn.
Dawn looks up at who’s looking at her and, since she doesn’t recognize her, begins to cry.
Tara (to Willow): First diaper change?
As Willow smiles down at Dawn, tickling her tummy:
Willow (smiling): Nah, I’ve done this hundreds of times.
Tara (smiles a little): I meant is this a first for Dawnie.
Willow: Naw, I doubt it. She was probably changed before we came over.
Tara: She seems fussy...but that’s probably just ‘cause a new person’s changing her.
Willow (grinning): Yeah, you’re probably right. Hey, can you grab me a diaper from under the table? I don’t want her to fall off...and the books always say, “Always keep one hand and eye on your baby while changing their diapers.”
Tara: No problem.
Tara takes a diaper from the bottom shelf of the changing table and opens it up.
Tara: Wow. Luvs. (smiles) That’s a good brand.
Willow: Real absorbent.
Tara: I think they’re more absorbent than Pampers.
Willow: Probably. I’m not really that much up on diapers. (giggles)
Dawn fusses.
Tara (cooing, affectionately): Ooh...oh, it’s okay, honey-bun...we’re gonna get this diaper on you. Just be a good wittle girl and hold still.
Willow: Lift up for me, sweetheart.
Dawn raises her bottom from the table.
Willow (cooing): That’s a good girl...yeah...
Tara slips the new diaper under Dawn’s bottom.
Willow takes baby wipes from the box and wipes Dawn’s privates.
Tara takes the baby powder and powders Dawn’s privates and her bottom.
Willow takes the front of the clean diaper and, while Tara keeps Dawn still, slips it up through Dawn’s legs and tapes it closed.
Willow: There we go, my little cutie pie.
She picks her up and holds her in her arms.
Tara (gushing): She’s so beautiful.
Willow (smiles): Yeah, she’s adorable...
Tara (blurting it out): I want one.
Willow looks at Tara, surprised.
She goes to the crib and lays Dawn inside it.
Willow (cooing): There we go, sweetie-pie.
Dawn begins to close her eyes and fall asleep.
Willow looks at Tara.
Willow: Okay, now...what did you say?
Tara (flustered): It’s just...well...I never had any brothers or sisters to care for. All the kids I looked after weren’t my own. I want one I can watch every day...see them grow into a fine human being.
Willow smiles.
Willow: I promise...we’ll have one of our own soon.
Tara (smiles warmly): Really?
Willow (nods): Really.
She kisses her.
Willow: Maybe we should let Dawnie get some sleep.
Tara (smiles): Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Willow and Tara, hand-in-hand, walk out of Buffy’s room, where Dawn continues to sleep soundly.
Willow starts to close the door, leaving it open a crack.
They walk into the living room.
Willow (reassuringly): She’s fine, Buffy. She had a little wet diaper, then we changed her and everything was okay.
Tara: Yeah, she’s in the crib sleeping now.
Buffy: Good. Thanks, Willow. I’m really glad you two are here.
Willow hugs Buffy.
Willow: We’ll be here for you no matter what, Buffy. I promise.
Buffy: Thanks, Will.
Willow: Meanwhile, I think we should get to work.
Buffy: For what?
Willow: Well, Buff, if it’s as permanent as Cordy told us, I’d have to change her records.
Buffy (surprised): You can do that?
Willow: Yeah, sure.
She walks over to the coffee table and, sitting against the couch, she takes out her laptop.
She begins performing some extremely fast typist skills.
Willow: Okay...birth certificate...
She continues typing.
Willow: That’s changed.
She types again.
Willow: School records...
She continues typing.
Willow: Changed. By the way, Buffy, Dawn’s now enrolled in Sunnydale Daycare Centre.
Buffy: What about the people and kids working there? They won’t remember her.
Willow: No sweat. I can perform a building-wide memory altering spell. They’ll remember that she’s been there since the day you had her.
Buffy: Okay. (realizing what she said) What?! What do you mean, “I had her”??
Willow: Well, Buffy, we can’t say that your mom had Dawn. Dawn looks at most a year old. Your mom has been gone for 2. That wouldn’t fly with anyone. The only way we can do it is say you gave birth to her.
Buffy (sighs): How’re we gonna pull that off?
Willow: Don’t worry, Buffy. Everything’s gonna be fine. I promise.
Tara: Yeah, you don’t have to worry. While you’re working at the Doublemeat Palace, Janice can take care of Dawnie. And while she’s in school, , Willow and I can take care of her.
Buffy sits down on the couch.
Buffy (impressed): Wow. You guys have really thought this out.
Willow (smiles happily): It’s what we do.
Buffy: Still, you didn’t have to do all this for me. I really appreciate it.
Willow: No problem.
Faith: Hey, B. Can I talk to ya for a sec?
Buffy: Um....sure.
Faith and Buffy go into another room.
Faith: Lemme ask you somethin’. Your dad’s pretty much MIA, right?
Buffy (unhappy): Yeah.
Faith: And every kid needs two parents.
Buffy: Yeah.
Faith: I wanted to know if, maybe...
Buffy: Faith?
Faith: Yeah?
Buffy: Are you saying you wanna be Dawn’s...
Faith: Mother?
Buffy nods.
Faith (sighs deeply): Yeah.
Buffy: That’d be great, Faith. I’m sure Dawn would love to have you as a mother.
Faith (smiles a little): Thanks, B.
She hugs her.
Faith: Hey, um...I was wonderin’...if you ever wanted to give me a...y’know...
Buffy: Do you want a crash course in child care, Faith?
Faith: Yeah...y’know...I mean...(trying to play it cool) whatever...
Buffy: Well, I’d be happy to help you, Faith. We can go to the daycare center tomorrow and sign up.
Faith: Whoa, whoa, B...I didn’t wanna do no sign-up for any sissy, daycare thing. Just a little crash course.
Buffy: Faith, this’ll help you in all areas...dirty diapers, temper tantrums, putting them to bed, feeding them...this’ll be perfect for you.
Faith: Naw...B, you know me and little nippers...we don’t work well together.
Buffy: Well, you’re gonna have to find a way if you’re gonna be Dawn’s mother.
Faith (sighs deeply): Okay, Buffy. You’re right. If I’m ever gonna get through this I need to know everything.
Buffy: Well, not everything...just up to age 3...since that’s pretty much all the daycare centre deals with.
Faith: Okay. (sighs) You got me over a barrel.
Buffy holds out her hand to Faith.
Buffy: Sign you up?
Faith shakes Buffy’s hand.
Faith: Sign me up.
Buffy: Deal.
Dawn cries from the nursery.
Buffy: First lesson...feeding.
Faith groans softly and Buffy and her walk to the kitchen which is just offside of the living room.
Willow is still on her laptop, Tara is sitting on the left of her, and Janice is sitting on the right.
Willow (worried): Is Dawnie okay, Buff?
Buffy: Yeah, she’s fine. She’s just hungry.
Janice (offering): You want me to do it, Buffy?
Buffy: No, I can do it.
She sighs.
Buffy: Will?
Willow points her hand at Buffy.
Willow: Papilla Lactans.
Buffy smiles.
Buffy: Thanks.
She walks into her room with Faith following.
Faith: What was that spell Will did to ya?
Buffy takes Dawn out of her crib and unbuttons her shirt.
Buffy: The spell...
She takes off her bra.
Buffy: Was...
She leads Dawn’s mouth to her breast.
Buffy: To make me give milk.
Dawn begins sucking on Buffy’s breast milk.
Faith (impressed, grins): Cool!
Dawn continues sucking on Buffy’s breast as Faith watches.
Buffy (smiles, inviting, to Faith): You can have some of this too, if you want, Faith...
Faith (blushes): Nah, it’s okay.
Buffy (smiles): No, really. It’s no problem. I can just squirt some of this into a cup for you if you wanna try it out. (giggles)
Voice from the doorway: Actually, I think you’d need a pump for that.
Buffy looks at the figure behind the voice in the doorway.
Buffy: What’re you doing here?
We see who it is.
Spike.
He walks in and sits on the bed on the other side of Buffy.
Spike: So...the little niblet is young again, huh? No more days of high school, cheerleading, and swooning over the football captain. Now it’s daycare, diaper changes, and swooning over Barney the Dinosaur.
Buffy: What do you want, Spike?
Spike: All’s I’m sayin’ is that you’re gonna need someone to take care o’ the little one while you’re out slingin’ burgers for minimum wage.
Buffy: Spike, it’s all covered, okay? Now...I appreciate the thought, but don’t worry because everything’s going to be fine.
Faith: Yeah, Blondie-Boy. Everything’ll be fine. Trust me.
Spike (scoffs): Trust you? The little miss who tried to kill everyone the last time she was here? No way, uh-uh, no thanks.
Buffy: Look, I’m getting really tired of these games. If you don’t have anything to say that’s relevant, then please leave.
Spike: Fine, Slayer.
He gets up and starts to walk out.
He stops at the door and turns to face her.
Spike (gesturing to her breastfeeding, smiles warmly): That’s a good look for you.
He leaves.
Buffy (groans with annoyance): I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Did I mention I hate him?
Faith: Yeah, we get it...you hate the blonde vamp. Totally on board with it.
Dawn fusses around Buffy’s nipple.
Buffy: Ooh...
She removes Dawn from her breast and wipes her mouth clean of the milk.
Buffy: I think she’s finished.
Faith: She may be finished... (sniffs)...but she’s totally startin’ somethin’ else.
Buffy: You wanna help me change her, Faith?
Faith: No way...I’ll do spit-up, I’ll do feeding, I’ll even do burping...but there ain’t no way in Hell...I’m ever doin’ diapers.
Buffy (quickly): I’ll pay you 50 bucks.
Faith (simply): I’m in.
Buffy takes Dawn over to the changing table and lays her down on it.
Dawn gurgles and coos up at Buffy.
Buffy (cooing): Hi, sweetie. Remember me? It’s me, Buffy.
She looks at Faith, then back at Dawn.
Faith: Ready?
Buffy: Yep.
Buffy rips one diaper tab, and Faith rips the other.
They both pull back the diaper.
Faith (groans): Oh, man! How does your mom stand this?!
Buffy: She’s dealt with it more than I have...
Faith (laughs): Good point.
Buffy: Shall we?
Faith (disgusted): Yeah, let’s. Please.
Buffy wipes Dawn’s privates with the clean end of the diaper.
Faith takes Dawn’s legs in her hand and lifts her bottom from the changing table.
Buffy: Ready?
Faith: Do it.
Buffy slips the diaper out from underneath Dawn, rolls it in a ball, tapes it closed, shoots for the diaper pail, and gets it in.
Buffy: Nice shot! (grins) I could be in the WNBA.
Faith: Probably not. (laughs)
Buffy, taking baby wipes from the box, wipes Dawn’s privates.
Faith takes the baby powder and powders Dawn’s bottom.
Buffy takes a new diaper from the changing table and opens it up.
Faith undoes the tapes and slips it underneath Dawn’s bottom.
Buffy brings it up through her legs and tapes it closed with one hand.
Buffy (grins): How ‘bout that? I just changed my first diaper.
Faith: You’ve changed more than that, B.
Buffy: Well, first as a new mother.
Faith puts Dawn in a cute pink dress and holds her in her arms.
Buffy walks out with Faith, who is holding Dawn.
Buffy (smiling): Look who’s up!
The girls immediately crowd around Dawn and start cooing and babbling baby-talk to her.
Willow (smiles): I’ve got good news for ya, Buffy.
Buffy: Yep?
Willow: I thought it would be safe if we were all close to Dawn, so, hacking into the Sunnydale Daycare Centre, I’d put you, me, Tara, and Faith in the nursery department.
Buffy: Cool! That way not only can we keep an eye on Dawn, but also get more experience with other ages.
Willow (grins): Right!
Buffy walks around to Willow.
Buffy: How’s it goin’ with changing Dawn’s records?
Willow: Everything’s good. The birth certificate, her school records have been changed...everything’s perfect. It’s as if she was just born last year.
Buffy (smiles): Technically she was...
Faith: Only she could do all the things that we could.
Buffy laughs a little at that.
Willow: So what’s the plan, Buffy?
Buffy: Everyone can stay here tonight. Get some good rest, though. We all start school tomorrow.
CHAPTER 10
The sun rises over the town of Sunnydale, California as the Scooby Gang begins waking up.
First we see Willow, who is sleeping next to Tara, wake up.
Willow gets up quietly, so she doesn’t wake Tara.
She moans softly and stretches.
She goes to the closet and, slowly opening the door, begins to pull out her clothes to change.
Tara (moans): Morning...
She slowly gets up.
Willow looks apologetically over at Tara.
Willow (frowns): I’m so sorry, sweetheart...I didn’t mean to wake you...
Tara (moans): You didn’t. The sun woke me. (smiles a little)
Willow changes into a short, midriff-revealing, baby blue T-shirt, and puts on a pair of blue jeans.
She walks over to Tara and, taking her hand, kisses her.
Willow: Morning, sweetheart.
Tara (smiles): Morning.
They kiss.
Tara: I like your outfit.
Willow (grins): This? I just threw this on.
Tara kisses her.
Tara: It looks great.
Willow: Thanks.
Tara (wondering): Are the others up yet?
Dawn cries from the nursery.
Tara (sighs): Sounds like Dawnie is.
Willow: You wanna go get ‘er?
Tara: Nah, we should give Buffy and Dawn some mommy-daughter bonding time.
Willow (smiles, nods): You’re right.
Cut to Buffy’s room, where we see her slowly waking up.
She hears Dawn’s cries and looks over at Faith, who is still sound asleep, snoring her brains out.
Buffy tries to go back to bed by laying face-down and putting the pillow over her head.
Dawn continues to wail.
Buffy (groans softly): Fine, fine...you win. I’m up.
She gets up and, going over to the crib, picks up Dawn.
Buffy (smiles): Morning, sweetheart.
She feels Dawn’s diaper.
Buffy: Nothin’ like a little present in the morning, I always say.
She takes her over to the changing table and, laying her down, begins to change her diaper.
Buffy: You know what, sweetie? I kinda like havin’ you around like this. I mean...you don’t talk back, you don’t steal my clothes, you don’t steal period...it’s really cool seein’ you like this again.
She kisses her tummy and, finished with the change, lifts her up and nuzzles against her tummy.
Buffy (smiles): I promise to be the best mommy I can be.
She stands there, shocked, as what she has just said actually sinks in.
Buffy: I’m Buffy, Dawnie...but you can call me...Mommy.
She lays her back down on the changing table and, lifting up her shirt, begins blowing raspberries on her chest, causing Dawn to squeal with delight.
Buffy (cooing): Who’s my baby girl? Yeah, who’s my girl?? Yeah...you are...you know that? Yeah, that’s right...you’re my baby...
She smiles and picks up Dawn, carrying her over to the closet.
Buffy (smiles): Now what should we wear today? ‘Cause you know what today is, sweetie? That’s right! (happily) It’s your first day at daycare! (squealing) Wheeeeee!!!!!
As she squeals, she spins Dawn around, who giggles almost uncontrollably.
Buffy smiles and stops spinning Dawn, looking at her.
Buffy: So what should we wear today, huh Dawnie?
She holds up one outfit.
It’s the dress with the ugly green color and the polka dots.
Buffy: What do you think?
Dawn cries.
Buffy looks at it.
Buffy (groans): I agree. (to herself) What was I thinking when I bought this??
Buffy holds up another outfit.
It’s a pair of blue jeans, but it has snaps down the sides.
Buffy: What do you think of this one, Dawnie?
Dawn claps her hands happily.
Buffy (smiles): Couldn’t agree more.
She takes Dawn back over to the changing table and lays her down.
Buffy: Now hold still, honey...Mommy’s just gonna put you into these nice pants...
Dawn obeys Buffy and lies still on the changing table.
Buffy slips the pants on Dawn.
Buffy (cooing): Dere we go...dat’s my giwl. You look so cute! I could just eat you!
She pretends to gnaw at Dawn’s foot, which causes Dawn to squeal and giggle.
Buffy picks up Dawn and, after putting blue socks on her, she positions her on her hip.
Buffy: Now...what’d’ya say we go and see everyone else?
Dawn squeals happily.
Dawn: Yay!
Buffy begins walking out of her room, and carrying her into the kitchen, where everyone else has gathered.
Janice, standing by the refrigerator, is wearing an orange top and black jeans.
Tara, looking through the kitchen cupboards, is wearing a red, long-sleeved shirt and blue jean shorts.
Willow is standing by the kitchen table.
Janice (happily): Morning, Buffy!
Willow (happily): Hey, Buffy!
Tara (smiles): Mornin’, Buffy.
Buffy (smiles): Hey guys.
Tara walks over to Buffy and Dawn.
Willow (cooing at Dawn): Well, good morning to you, my sweet wittle Dawnie. And how are we dis morning?
Dawn squeals happily.
Willow (smiles): I guess she’s just excited to be starting daycare.
Buffy: I am, too, I’ll admit...I gotta say, though, I’m a little worried.
Tara (reassuringly): Buffy, you don’t have to worry. I’ve worked there before, so if you want, I can walk you through it.
Buffy (relieved): That’d be great, Tara. Thanks.
Willow: So she’s all ready to go?
Buffy: Yep, changed and dressed.
Willow: We still have to feed her, though.
Buffy: No sweat.
Willow (worried): But we don’t have any baby food.
Buffy (sighs): Okay, time to sweat.
Tara: We can feed her at the daycare centre. They’ve got baby food there.
Buffy: Okay. Let’s go to work now and then on the way home, pick up the essentials.
Tara: Good idea.
Faith moans and walks out into the kitchen, bags under her eyes, hair a mess, pretty much a wreck.
Faith (moans): Morning.
Janice/Tara/Willow/Buffy: Hey, Faith.
Faith (groans): Not so loud...
Buffy (smirks): Too drunk from last night?
Faith: No...too confused from last night...what exactly happened?
Buffy walks up to Faith and takes her hand.
Buffy: I’ll explain later. Meanwhile you’ve gotta get dressed.
Faith (groans): Why?
Buffy: Your new job.
Faith: Job...(realizes) I told you, B; I’m not doin’ that daycare thing.
Willow: It’s too late now, Faith. I’ve already signed up myself, you, Buffy, and Tara. They think that we’ve been working there for at least 5 years. We’re they’re most decorated employees.
Faith (sarcastic): Then it’s gonna make it real hard on them when I quit, isn’t it?
Willow (disappointed): Faith, no...you can’t quit. Please...tell ya what, if you don’t like it after a week, let me know and I’ll zap the building so they’ve never heard of you...as a daycare worker, anyway.
Faith (sighs): Fine. I’ll try it for a week. But what about my outfit? If we’re gonna be late, it’ll look bad on my record.
Willow zaps Faith into wearing a short, maroon-colored T-shirt and blue jeans.
Willow (happily): There ya go.
Janice: Wait, Will...(concerned) what about me?
Willow: Well, I figure that since you look after Dawn so much, you might need a break.
Janice (understanding, smiles): Thanks, Willow.
Willow (smiles): No problem.
Buffy: So...everyone ready?
Willow/Tara/Faith: Yep!
Buffy: Then let’s go to work.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE DAYCARE CENTRE
Buffy, holding Dawn in her arms, and the gang walk up to the building.
Willow: Ready?
Group: Yep.
Willow waves her hand.
Willow: There. Now we can just walk in and everyone will know who we are.
INT. SUNNYDALE DAYCARE CENTRE
Willow, Buffy, Faith, and Tara walk into the daycare centre.
Willow walks up to the desk, where a pretty blonde, who looks to be around 20-21 is sitting.
She looks up at Willow.
Receptionist: Hi! Can I help you?
Willow: Hi...um, you’ll have to forgive me but we just came back from vacation and we’re kinda forgetful since we’ve been gone so long. What room do we report to?
Receptionist: Name?
Willow: Willow Rosenberg.
Receptionist: Just down the hall. Room 314.
Buffy looks at Willow, a look of shock registered on her face.
Willow (easing): It’s just a coincidence, Buffy. Don’t worry.
Buffy (sighs): Okay. As long as it’s just a coincidence.
Willow, Faith, Tara, and Buffy walk down to Room 314.
Buffy (inhales, then exhales): Here we go.
Buffy opens the door slowly to see something she was certainly not expecting.
It was a picture of chaos. There were toddlers screaming at other toddlers, fighting over blocks, struggling on changing tables...it was like it was all taken out of some creepy experimentation movie.
The room was as normal as you’d expect any daycare centre room to be. Baby blue paint on the walls, and strips of wallpaper lined the four corners with pictures of Bugs and the other Looney Tunes crew...but in diapers. There was a line of changing tables along the wall, with a bathroom next to the cubbies, which had each child’s name marked on it with a strip of Masking Tape, inside each one containing their clothes, diapers, and other assorted items for their day there. There were also highchairs in the corner, a toy box on the far left hand side of the wall by the front door, and several other attendants running around after other children.
An attendant walks up to the gang.
She looks to be around 19 years old, brown hair, greenish eyes.
Attendant: Hey, Will!
Willow hugs the attendant.
Willow: Hey, Emma! How’re you?
Emma (sighs wearily): Wiped. Jordan won’t stay still when I’m changing his diaper, Alex won’t stop throwing his food around, and Kimberly won’t stop crying. She’s been crying like that since her mom left.
Emma points over to a little girl who is bawling her eyes out.
Kimberly: Mommy!!! Mommy!!!! (bawling) Come back!!! (crying)
Willow (affectionately): Aww....maybe I can get her to stop.
Willow walks over to Kimberly and kneels down to her.
Willow: Well, hi there, sweetie. Now...you miss your mommy, right?
Kimberly (calms down, sniffles): Uh-huh.
Willow: And I know for a fact your mommy misses you. (smiles) But y’know what?
Kimberly: What?
Willow: Your mommy is going to be back very, very soon. I promise.
Kimberly (sniffles): You sure?
Willow (nods): Uh-huh.
Willow takes Kimberly’s little hand and points to the clock.
Willow: You see that little stick at the 12?
Kimberly: Uh-huh.
Willow: And see the 3 over there?
Kimberly: Uh-huh.
Willow: Well, when that little stick reaches the 3, then your mommy will be here to pick you up.
Kimberly: Yay!
Willow smiles and hugs Kimberly.
Willow: I’m glad I could help, sweetheart.
Meanwhile, over in another corner, there’s a little boy who looks around 4.
Boy: No!
Attendant: You have to!
Boy: No! Don’t wanna!
The attendant walks over to Tara.
Attendant: Hey, Tara.
Tara (smiles): Hey, Carrie.
Carrie: Doug doesn’t want to put on his daytime diapers. His mom put him in them before they left, but he ripped it off when he got inside.
Tara (quizzical): So why don’t you just find his diaper and put it back on him?
Carrie: Because by the time we went around for diaper checks, he had ran and stuffed it in the used diaper pail. And by the time I finished getting all the poop off of his hands, we’d changed so many kids since then that I don’t know where it is. The only diapers that fit him are Pampers Size 6, and this is our last one, so if he busts this one up, the poor little guy’s gonna have to go home with no diaper on his bum.
Tara (smiles): Do you want me to try and reason with him?
Carrie (grateful): Would you, please?
Tara: It’d be my pleasure.
She walks over to Doug, who is trying to get up from the changing table.
Tara (sweetly): Hey, sweetie. My name’s Tara.
Doug: No diapies!
Tara (understanding): I see where you’re comin’ from, Dougie. And I understand. I wouldn’t want to be forced into diapers, either. But y’know what...your mommy’s only doing this so you learn how to use the potty. You don’t actually have to use the diaper. All ya gotta do is, when you feel a poop or pee comin’ on, you run to one of us, we’ll take you into the bathroom, take your diaper off, you can go pee or poop in the potty, then we’ll put it back on you.
Doug (pouts): I no wanna wear...
Tara: I understand that, sweetie, but you don’t have to worry. You don’t have to use it, and if you do, we’ll all stand up for you and say you tried your best to make it to the potty.
Doug (smiles a little): Weally?
Tara (nods): Really.
Doug: Put on standing up.
Tara: No problem, buddy.
Tara takes a Pampers Size 6 from the package and untapes both sides.
She opens up the diaper and looks at Doug.
Tara: Okay, Dougie. I’m gonna need you to stand with your legs wide. Can you do that for me? (playful) Spread ‘em wide apart, like you’re doin’ the splits
Doug stands with his legs spread wide apart.
Tara (smiles): Attaboy.
She slips the diaper between his legs and brings it up to his waist.
She closes the diaper and tapes both of the tabs closed.
Tara: There we go, buddy boy.
She lays him on the changing table and reaches over for his pants, but finds poop all over them.
Tara (smiles, to Doug): Wow, you made a big poop, didn’t you?
Doug smiles a little and giggles.
Tara looks over at another attendant.
Tara: Jessica, where are Doug’s extra pants?
Jessica: In his cubby.
Tara: Okay. (to Faith) Faith?
Faith walks over to Tara.
Faith: What’s up, Tara?
Tara: Can you get me Dougie’s extra jeans from his cubby?
Faith: No problemo.
She walks over to his cubby and, taking his extra pair of jeans, tosses them to Tara.
Tara catches them and, in one smooth motion, dresses Doug in a new pair of pants.
Tara places the old jeans in a plastic bag, tying the knot, and throwing it back to Faith.
Tara (calls out): Just put that in his cubby.
Faith: Gotcha.
She places it in Doug’s cubby.
A little girl around 3, tugs on Faith’s pant leg.
Faith looks down at her, making no move to even reach her height.
Faith: What’s up, small fry?
Little Girl: Potty.
Faith (smiles): Oh, you gotta go potty, huh? (to Carrie) Hey, Carrie...where’s the bathroom?
Carrie: Next to the cubbies.
Faith: Thanks.
She takes the girl’s hand and leads her to the bathroom.
Faith: You need any help?
Girl: Me can do it.
Faith (smiles): Okay. I’ll be out here if you need me.
The girl goes inside the bathroom and closes the door.
Buffy walks over to Dawn’s cubby and puts her diaper bag into the cubby.
She walks over to Emma.
Buffy: Hey, Emma.
Emma (smiles): Hey, Buffy! How are you?
Buffy: Not bad...
Emma (noticing Dawn): Dawnie’s really grown since you were last here.
Buffy (chuckles): I know what’cha mean.
Emma: And just think...since you’re here and she’s here, she doesn’t have to worry about being away from her mother.
Buffy (smiles): Exactly.
Emma (pleased): I just think it’s awesome.
Carrie walks over to Buffy with Jordan, the kicking and screaming toddler from before.
Carrie hands him to Buffy.
Carrie (fed up): I can’t do it. He won’t stay still for me.
Buffy: Oh, um...(no choice) want me to try?
Carrie (grateful): Would you?
Buffy (forced laugh): No problem.
Buffy takes Jordan, who continues to kick and fight, over to the changing table.
Buffy (smiling sweetly): Sweetie, it’ll be okay. Buffy’ll change your diaper in no time flat, but she’s gonna have to get you to stop squirming.
Jordan continues and kick and flail.
Jordan: No!!!! Don’t change diaper!!! No messy!!!
Buffy (sighs, smiles): If you stop squirming, I’ll give you a treat.
Jordan stops squirming immediately.
Jordan: Treat?
Buffy (smiles widely): That’s right. I’ve got a bag of chocolate chip cookies in my backpack over there and if you stop squirming so I can change your diaper, you can have them....but you have to promise not to eat them until you get home.
Jordan pouts.
Buffy (smiling): Jordan...I’ve got a big bag of ‘em...
Jordan smiles and lays back on the changing table, obedient
Buffy (cooing): That’s a good boy.
She slips off his red sweatpants and, after fastening the safety strap around his waist, untapes his diaper.
She opens it up and finds the contents.
Buffy (smiles widely): Wow, Jordan...you really made a big poop, didn’t you?
Jordan (giggles): Made pee-pee too.
Buffy (giggles): I can see that. Well, let’s get you cleaned up.
She looks over at Willow.
Buffy (calls out): Will!
Willow looks back at Buffy.
Willow (calls back): Yeah?
Buffy: Can you toss me Jordan’s diaper bag?
Willow: Sure!
She reaches into Jordan’s cubby and, grabbing his diaper bag, tosses it to Buffy.
Buffy reaches in and, taking out a new diaper, opens it and untapes the tabs.
She places it underneath the changing table, but at easy reach for herself.
She holds Jordan’s legs with one hand and, using several baby wipes, wipes the mess from his bottom.
Jordan squirms on the table.
Buffy (calming): I know it’s cold, sweetie, but don’t worry. I’ll be done...
But Buffy was cut off by a scream...a scream that she had performed.
There has never been a scream that loud by her...not even in “Hush”. The “Hush” scream was a mere whimper compared to this one.
See, Jordan had just done something that nobody told her to expect when working with a toddler boy..
Jordan had just urinated in her face.
Buffy felt it below her nose and shut her eyes in horror.
Jordan begins to wail loudly.
Buffy realized her error...never scream in the presence of a toddler.
Buffy quickly undid the strap, picked up Jordan, diaperless, holding him pressed against her chest.
Buffy: I’m so sorry, sweetie...I--I didn’t mean to scream like that...it just...surprised me. I’m sorry...
Buffy bounces Jordan up and down in her arms, and he begins calming down.
Buffy: Attaboy...now let’s get that diaper changed.
She lays him back down on the table and, taking his legs in her hand, elevates his bottom from the table.
She then, taking a bottle from below the table, powders his bottom with baby powder.
She then grabs the diaper that she’d opened earlier and, elevating his bottom again, slips the diaper underneath.
Remembering the indignity that he suffered while in diapers, Jordan begins to kick and fuss.
Buffy (sternly): Jordan....remember what I told you? No diaper, no cookies.
Jordan stops kicking and struggling.
Buffy (smiles, cooing): Good boy. You’re such a good wittle boy...
She brings the diaper up through his legs.
Buffy (cooing): Yes you are...yes, you are...
She tapes it closed and slips his pants back on him.
Buffy lifts him up and sets him down on the floor.
Buffy: I always keep my word, so...
She hands Jordan a big bag of chocolate chip cookies.
Buffy (smiles): But no eating them until you get home.
Jordan: Tank you.
He hugs her leg.
Buffy smiles and, after prying him from her leg, gives him a pat on his diapered butt.
Buffy: Go play now, honey.
Jordan toddles off to play with the other children.
Buffy goes over to the sink and washes her hands.
Emma walks over to Buffy, holding a toddler in her arms.
Emma: I’ve got another candidate who wants to see you, Buffy.
Dawn: Mommy!
Buffy looks at Dawn, smiling.
If you were looking at an X-Ray of Buffy, her heart wouldn’t be there...
Because it melted hearing Dawn call her that.
Buffy takes Dawn from Emma.
Buffy (cooing): Hey, cutie! How’s my wittle Dawnie?
Dawn: Fun!
Buffy (cooing): Havin’ fun, sweetie-pie?
Dawn nods and smiles.
Buffy: You wanna go play with the blocks, honey?
Dawn: Bwock!
Buffy (smiles): Okay, let’s go!
She and Dawn go over to the blocks.
Attendant: Okay, guys! Lunchtime!
Buffy (smiles, cooing to Dawn): Yay! Lunch! (smiles) I bet you’re a hungry little one, ain’t’cha?
Dawn giggles and claps her hands.
Buffy takes Dawn over to a highchair and sets her on it.
She sets the locking tray in place.
Dawn fusses and cries, banging her fists on the highchair.
Buffy walks over to Dawn with a jar of strained carrots and a little plastic spoon.
Buffy (calm): I know you don’t like being fed this way, Dawnie, but it’s the easiest way to make sure you don’t fall out.
Dawn pouts.
Carrie (offering): Dawn looks fussy, Buffy. You want me to handle feeding her?
Buffy: No...nah, I can do it.
Carrie: Okay.
Buffy sighs and looks at Dawn.
She opens the jar of baby food and dips the spoon into it.
Buffy: Okay, Dawnie...here comes the airplane.
She begins making airplane noises as she moves the spoon around and then puts the food into Dawn’s mouth.
Dawn swallows it.
Buffy (smiling widely): Good girl!
After feeding her the rest of the carrots, Buffy unsnaps Dawn’s highchair and lifts her out of it.
Buffy (cooing): Who’s my good girl? Who’s my good girl?
She tickles Dawn’s tummy and Dawn giggles.
Buffy sniffs.
Buffy (cooing): You’re also my dirty little girl! You know that, Dawnie-kins? Someone’s made a big poopy in their diapies. (major cooing) Yes they did!
She tickles Dawn’s tummy and she squeals with delight.
Buffy (to Carrie): Carrie, I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna go change her.
Carrie: No problem, Buffy.
Willow (smiles): Yeah, we’re fine here.
Buffy takes Dawn over to the changing table and lays her on it.
Buffy begins taking off Dawn’s pants.
Buffy (smiles): Lucky these have snaps.
She removes her pants and sets them aside.
She untapes Dawn’s diaper and opens it.
Buffy (grins): Ooh! Someone’s left Mommy a big present!
She tickles Dawn’s tummy, and she squeals happily.
Buffy (smiles): Well, don’t worry, Dawn, ‘cause we’re gonna get you into a new diaper quick as a flash.
Dawn fusses on the table.
Buffy (sympathetic): I know you don’t like being naked...believe me, nobody does...but I gotta take your diaper off to give you a new one. Otherwise you could get a rash.
Dawn, seeming that she understands, stops fussing and smiles up at Buffy.
Buffy (smiles): There’s my good girl...
Buffy uses the front end of the diaper to clean Dawn’s privates and bum.
She then lifts Dawn’s bottom from the table and slips the dirty diaper out from underneath.
She balls the diaper up and sets it aside from both.
Buffy lowers Dawn’s bottom back on the changing table and, taking her legs in her hand, wipes her bottom with baby wipes.
Buffy (smiles): You’re a real big pooper, sweetheart...(giggles)
Dawn giggles as well.
Buffy takes the baby powder from the changing table shelf and powders her bottom.
Buffy takes a new diaper from Dawn’s diaper bag and, opening it up and untaping the tabs, slips it underneath Dawn’s bottom, bringing it up through her legs and taping it closed.
Buffy: There’s my big girl. (cooing) Who’s my big girl?? Who’s my big girl?
She blows raspberries on Dawn’s tummy, to which Dawn squeals and laughs with delight.
Emma walks over to the two of them, taking Dawn from Buffy.
Emma: Sorry, Buffy...but it’s naptime.
Dawn cries at the notion of being separated from her mother.
Buffy: Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll be right here with you...
Dawn continues to wail.
Buffy: Emma...Emma, wait!
Emma: Yeah?
Buffy: C...can I maybe...keep her next to me while naptime goes on? (pleading) I’ll--I’ll even sleep myself...if--if it’ll help.
Emma (smiles warmly): It’s okay, Buffy. You don’t have to sleep. I can understand how close you and Dawn are. I have, as I’m sure others have, no objection to it.
Buffy hugs Emma.
Buffy (grateful): Thank you!
Emma (giggles): No problem.
Buffy takes Dawn back from Emma and Dawn wraps her arms around her neck.
Buffy walks over to a rocking chair and sits with Dawn.
Buffy (singing softly and sweetly): Every single night, the same arrangement/I go out and fight the fight/Still I always feel the strange estrangement/Nothing here is real, nothing here is right/I’ve been making shows of trading blows, just hoping no-one knows/That I’ve been going through the motions/Walking through the part/Nothing seems to penetrate my/
She touches her nose.
Buffy (softly and sweetly, smiles): Heart
(She says the note, and doesn’t hold it like in the show)
Buffy (singing softly and sweetly): I was always brave and righteous, but now I find I’m wavering/Crawl out of your grave, you’ll find this fight just/Doesn’t mean a thing/She ain’t got that swing/Thanks for noticing/She does pretty well with fiends from Hell but lately we can tell/That she’s just going through thee motions/going through the motions/faking it somehow/She’s not even half the girl she...ow/
Seeing Dawn’s asleep, she gets up and, going over to an empty crib, lays her inside of it.
Buffy sighs, looking at Dawn, then she solemnly looks around the daycare centre.
Buffy (singing softly): Will I stay this way forever/Sleepwalk through my life’s endeavor/How can I repay/Whatever/I don’t wanna be/Going through the motions/Losing all my drive/I can’t even see/If this is really me/And I just wanna be/
She looks at the camera.
Buffy (speaks, whispers): Alive.
The children are all waking up.
Buffy walks up to Dawn and lifts her out of the crib.
Buffy (smiling): Hey, sleepyhead! Time to go!
Dawn (smiles): Mommy!
Buffy (smiles sweetly): That’s right, Dawnie. Ready to go?
Dawn nods, so Buffy and the group walk out of the daycare centre.
Willow (smiles): See you guys tomorrow.
Carrie: Bye, guys!
(INT. BUFFY’S JEEP)
Buffy: Now, Dawnie, I know you’re not gonna like this, but we had to get this done sometime.
Dawn looks confused.
Buffy pulls into an office building parking lot.
The group get out of the Jeep and walk into the office.
Buffy walks up to the desk, holding Dawn.
Buffy: Buffy Summers. I called yesterday about an appointment for my...(finally says it) daughter.
Receptionist: Ah, so this must be little Dawn.
Buffy (smiles): That’s her.
Receptionist: You can go on in.
The group walks in and sits in chairs.
A man walks out of an office and up to Buffy.
The man shakes her hand.
Man: Hello, Buffy.
Buffy (smiles): Hello.
Man: I’m Dr. Romano.
Buffy (smiles a little): Hi.
Dr. Romano looks at Dawn.
Dr. Romano: And this must be little Dawnie.
Dawn hides her face in Buffy’s shirt.
Dr. Romano: Ohh...don’t worry, sweetheart...I’m a good man. I’m a doctor...my job is to help you get better if you’re sick.
Dawn looks at him, but still kind of afraid.
Dr. Romano: Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be fine. (to Buffy) Now what was it you said she needed?
Buffy: She needs to get her immunization records updated.
Dr. Romano: So that’s Hepatitis C, Hepatitis B, Rubella, and Polio.
Buffy (nods): Right.
Dr. Romano: Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her.
He wheels out a tray of four needles on it, and Dawn’s eyes go wide.