Chapter Four: Hot Tub
Alex ran through some bushes and scrambled under the trees. The little
witch-girl followed close behind.
"Get away from me!" Alex cried but the witch-girl continued the chase.
They came out of the woods and stood upon the banks of a great rushing
river.
Logs floated by and snapped into pieces on the boulders.
A little yellow inflateable raft rolled along past and the white rabbit
called out,"You're going to be late. You're going to be late . . ."
The witch-girl stopped and stared at the passing rabbit.
"I think that squirrel was talking to you," the witch-girl said to Alex.
"That's a rabbit," Alice corrected.
"Rabbit's don't ride in rafts," the witch-girl said in defense. "So it's
gotta be a squirrel."
Alex glared at the witch-girl and leaped into the river.
The water carried her swiftly past the rocks and spun her in circles
after the little yellow raft.
At one point, Alex actually passed the raft but the raft quickly resumed
the lead.
The cold water started spiraling about and Alex realized she was in a
whirlpool.
"Hey rabbit," she called to the raft which spun down the whirlpool in
front of her. "Where does this go?"
"Oh me, oh my," said the rabbit ignoring her and looking at his watch
while the raft sunk down through the bottom of the whirlpool.
Alex was pulled underwater and then spat out of a funnel into a large
underground lake.
She was in a huge cavern. The ceiling was covered with green, glowing
moss that illuminated the lake eerily.
The rabbit paddled away hastily, leaving Alex behind.
"You there," someone called from behind. "Mind the tub. We're coming
through."
Three men in a tub floated towards Alex.
"Out of the way, child," cried the baker.
"Keep rowing," the called out the candlestick maker."And for gods sake,
put that knife away before you hurt someone."
The butcher fumbled with the knife and dropped it accidentally into the
lake.
"Pity," cried the baker.
"That was my best knife, too," the butcher complained.
The white tub floated towards Alex.
"You there, girl, what are you trying to do? Block passage across the
lake? Out of the way I said," the baker ordered waving a scrub brush
he'd been using as a paddle.
Alex tried swimming to one side but the rowers managed to turn in the
same direction.
"Okay, that did it. Pie please," the butcher called out.
The baker reached down into the tub and handed a pie to the butcher.
"Fire one!" the candlestick maker said lighting the pie on fire with a
small candle.
The baker threw the pie at Alex and it missed, splashing into the water
with a hiss as the flame went out.
A barrel floated nearby with two short, chubby twins with the words
"Tweedle-Dee" and "Tweedle-Dum" scribbled on their shirts.
"What seems to be the problem?" Tweedle-Dee asked spinning his propeller
cap.
"This girl is holding up traffic," the baker called back.
"And we're throwing flaming pies at her," the butcher said taking
another pie and readying it for another shot.
"Oh, what kind?" Tweedle-Dum asked.
"Huh?" the butcher asked.
"What kind of pies exactly?" Tweedle-Dee asked.
The butcher looked puzzled and then whispered something to the baker.
"Depends on what you mean," the baker said.
"Yeah," the butcher agreed.
"See, they're really not that good," the baker said.
"Yeah, otherwise why would a baker be out here in a tub?" the
candlestick maker added lighting another pie on fire.
Alex swam in place and watched the pie slowly burning in the butchers
hands while the conversation continued.
"You see, nobody really likes my pies," the baker said.
"Exactly," the candlestick maker agreed.
"So it doesn't really matter what type," the butcher added as the pie
melted all over his hands and flames exploded along his shirt sleeve.
"So it depends on what you mean," the baker said readying another pie.
"I mean: what type of pie is it?" Tweedle-Dum said rowing the barrel in
a circle around the tub.
"Yeah, what flavor?" Tweedle-Dee asked.
"Um . . . your shirt is on fire," Alex said to the baker.
"Shut up, girl," he said back to her. "Can't you see we're talking
here?"
"Yeah," the candlestick maker said lighting another pie on fire and
handing it to the butcher. "Stop interrupting. We're talking about
important matters here and don't need your opinion, you traffic
blocker."
"Yeah, lake hog," the baker added with arms crossed.
The butcher seemed uninterested that his other arm caught on fire.
Instead he nudged the baker and said,"Hey, get another pie ready. I'm
gonna really let her have it this time."
The little elbow nudge started the butchers shirt on fire.
"Now, where were we?" the butcher asked.
"You were talking about pie types," Alex reminded him.
"That does it, girl," the candlestick maker said throwing some lit
matches at Alex. "Stop interrupting."
"Oh, yes, pie types," the butcher said as flames crawled up his arms and
lit his vest on fire. "Well, they all should taste the same. Namely,
terrible."
"True, true," the baker agreed and his hat burst into an array of orange
fire.
"These are supposed to be what? Chocolate pies?" the butcher asked the
baker.
"Well, yes, normally they would be but they're a bit burnt at the moment
so you can't be too sure right now," the baker answered breaking into a
sweat. "It certainly is warm in this tub."
"Yes, it is warm, isn't it?" the butcher said and looked at the
candlestick maker accusingly. "Would you please stop lighting those
matches? You're raising the temperature in here."
The candlestick maker tossed some more lit matches out of the tub at
Alex and shrugged,"Sorry. I was busy teaching miss road block a lesson."
Alex gave up and began swimming away from the tub.
"Look, she's leaving," Tweedle-Dee said pointing.
"Yeah, no more traffic jam," Tweedle-Dum agreed.
Alex heard the butcher and baker suddenly cry out in shouts of horror as
they finally realized their clothes were on fire.
"Stupid candlestick maker!" the butcher cried leaping out of the tub.
"It's all your fault."
"You and your matches," the baker agreed jumping into the lake to
extinguish the flames.
Alex swam to shore and sat on some rocks to dry off.
She felt a clammy hand tap her upon the shoulder.
"Hello there," a green face said to her. "I'm the mock turtle. Aren't
you in luck. You're going to be a cow today."
Alex glanced at the wand coming down towards her head and shrugged.
Chapter Five: Choose A Path
"Now don't move," the mock turtle said swinging the wand slowly down.
Slowly, slowly, slowly the wand crept down towards Alex.
Alex stepped to the side and grabbed the wand from the mock turtle.
She turned around and brought the wand down upon the head of the mock
turtle.
"Hey!" the turtle complained. "I told you not to moooooooooo....."
Alex brought the wand back up off the new cow's head.
"I think I shall leave you like that to teach you a lesson," Alex said
climbing up some rocks to a small plateau.
The white rabbit scampered by taking nervous looks at his pocket watch.
"Oh-my-oh-my-oh-my-oh-my!" the rabbit exclaimed running up to a tiny
pink door. "I'm late again. I'm late, I'm late!"
The rabbit quickly opened the door and ran outside along a purple
cobblestone path.
Alex walked up to the door and kneeled down to peer outside.
"I'll never fit through this door," she said bumping her shoulders on
the doorjam.
Alex put the wand in her blouse pocket and her hand brushed upon bits of
mushroom.
"The mushroom will help me get through this door!" she exclaimed pulling
out both pieces up to her face.
She studied each mushroom for awhile, not knowing which would do which.
"I gave some to that old hag," she said looking at the smaller bit of
mushroom. "In fact, I gave her quite a good portion, so this must be the
one to make me little again."
Alex took a big bite of mushroom.
Immediately she started to shrink.
Her hair became shorter, her hips became less defined and her breasts
shrank. Her clothes reduced in proportion with her diminishing body.
When it was through, she stood there and looked herself over.
She saw not the body of a beautiful young woman but the small body of
the girl she was the moment she climbed through into this wonderland
through the looking glass.
Immediately, she stuffed the mushroom bits back into her blouse pocket.
"Stranger and stranger," she said ducking through the tiny doorway and
walking out into a garden of pink carnations along a purple pathway.
While skipping along down the cobblestone path, she realized her
newfound energy was no compensation for loosing her wonderful adult
body.
She briefly pressed her hands against her flat chest through the soft
material of her blue dress. Already she missed having breasts, but at
least she still had more mushroom left to grow up again.
"For now," she said to herself. "For now I shall stay this way. I can
always eat more mushroom and grow up again. Besides, what if I find
another tiny door and have to waste more mushroom going back and forth
between being adult and child?"
Great circles of flowers decorated the the garden. Carnations
everywhere.
She ran up to a fountain where more pathways joined up at a common
point.
Small wooden signs displayed messages of warning along the other paths.
"Danger," she read. "No Boys Allowed. Go Back!"
She looked at another sign and it read: "Danger! No Girls Allowed! This
is your last warning!"
On a whim, she headed up the path that warned against girls traveling
along it.
About halfway through, she bumped into a great invisible barrier and
fell back on her behind.
"What kind of magic is this?" she asked standing up, brushing the dust
off her dress.
She glanced up the path and saw a great mansion on a hill.
A sign nearby read: "House of Mirrors"
"That's where I have to go!" she exclaimed feeling along the invisible
wall. "I have to get past this shield and into that mansion! I came into
this crazy place through a looking glass house, so the mansion of
mirrors must be the way out!"
A giant grin appeared out of the carnations and floated over beside
Alex.
"Well, my dear," the teeth said as the cat materialized around the grin.
"You are going about this all the wrong way. The house of mirrors is the
exit, however you are playing the game out of sequence."
"My name's Alex," Alex insisted. "Not Alice, and what game are you
talking about?"
The cat took her hand and examined it in his paw.
"You still don't accept who you are?" the cat asked bringing her hand up
before her eyes. "YOU, my dear, are a girl. YOU, my dear, are in the
body of Alice. I do hope you get it straight pretty soon."
"Okay, okay," she said drawing her hand away. "I'm Alice then. Now tell
me what game you are referring to."
The cat climbed up on invisible steps and lay down on in the air.
"Time," the cat replied.
"Time?" Alice asked, perplexed. "What does that mean?"
"The game has a time limit," the cat said yawning. "Pretty soon, you
won't be able to go back. Pretty soon, you will have to stay as Alice.
Pretty soon, you will have to remain in wonderland forever."
"How much time do I have left?" Alice asked, horrified at the thought of
never getting out of this place, let alone never having the option of
going back to her normal, male body again.
"The rabbit knows," the cat said smiling and vanishing into nothingness
again. "Find the rabbit. The rabbit knows. Good bye Alice...... Good
luck....."
She pounded on the invisible wall in frustration.
"I have to get OUT!" she cried, pounding her fists. "Let me OUT!"
Reluctantly, she realized she was wasting time and started to head back
to the fountain and try the other path.
___-----___
Alice read the sign again. "Danger. No Boys Allowed. Go Back!"
She headed up the new walkway, wondering where it would lead.
The path meandered around some hills and ended at the brass gates of an
enormous rose garden. She wandered under the great archway and found
herself lost in a maze of rose bushes. Before she knew it, she was lost.
She ran faster and faster around turns and corners, looking for a way
out.
Suddenly she came around a corner and saw a couple people, or rather a
couple cards standing upon ladders, painting the white roses red.
"Hello," she said to them. "Can you help me find my way out of here?"
"Oh, my," the ten of hearts said. "Are you a little girl?"
Alice looked down at herself then back up at the ten of hearts.
"Yes," she replied. "But I just want to find a way out of here."
"You know," the seven of hearts said. "This garden is for girls only so
please don't tell the Queen we were here."
"Yes," the ten of hearts agreed. "We planted the wrong roses here, and
the Queen will be ever so upset if she finds out. That's why we're here,
you see. To paint the roses red."
"That's nice," Alice said and pointed. "You think the exit is that way
then?"
"Of course, on the one hand if we get caught," the seven said. "I mean
caught being boys in a girls only garden, then the Queen will have the
Wild Joker change us into a pair of girls."
"Yes," the ten agreed. "And on the other hand, if we get caught here
painting roses red, the Queen will have our heads."
"Certainly," the seven said thinking for a moment before continuing.
"Also, if she finds the white roses before we can paint them, then we
loose our heads anyway, you see?"
"Yes," Alice said impatiently. "Look, I'm sort of running out of time. I
just want to find the exit."
"Now we did try to put up detour signs to keep people away from the
white roses until we could fix them, but then again, that never worked
before," the ten said dipping a paintbrush into a bucket.
"Oh, yes," the seven agreed, painting another rose. "I have to agree
with you there, ten. The detour plan was a bad idea from the start."
"I'll just go this way then, okay?" Alice said sneaking past.
"Just don't tell anyone we were here doing this," seven said.
"We don't want to be girls, you see," ten added.
"Or loose our heads or anything," seven said nodding.
Alice ran down the path and rounded another corner, then another and
another.
"Will I ever find my way?" she asked running this way and that.
She came around one bend and felt someone's leg stick out under her,
tripping her.
Alice fell face down into the grass and someone rolled her over onto her
back.
Tiny hands felt in her pockets for a moment.
"Got it!" a little girl exclaimed holding up a mushroom.
It was the witch-girl!
Alice looked up at the girl's black dress with white ruffles along the
edges. The girl certainly looked cuter this way with doe-like brown eyes
and soft black hair, than her previous form.
"You're the witch," Alice said as the other girl kept a foot on top of
Alice's tummy, holding her down to the ground.
"I didn't like you tricking me into being a little girl," the witch-girl
said biting into the mushroom. "So, I had to find out where you might go
next. I figured you'd try getting help from the Queen or something, so I
came here. Lucky for me you still had these nice cookies with you. Lucky
for me, you turned into a child so I could catch you. Thank you, young
lady. Now watch as I finish off this cookie and turn back into an adult!
Then I'll teach you a lesson!"
"Those are not cookies," Alice corrected the girl.
"Delicious!" the witch-girl said finishing up the rest of one mushroom.
"Hey!" Alice said watching the witch-girl transform and grow up into a
beautiful young woman. "That's my ticket back to an adult!"
"Eeeee-he-he!" the witch exclaimed, smoothing her hands out along her
newly formed waist and hips. "Oh, this fills me with a power like I
haven't had in centuries! I feel so wonderful now....."
The witch reached down and pulled out another mushroom from Alice's
blouse pocket.
"And this is the cookie that turned me into a child, right?" the witch
asked with a crooked smile.
"No," Alice said shaking her head back and forth. "What are you going to
do?"
"Where did you get these cookies?" the witch asked bringing the mushroom
up to Alice's lips. "Tell me or I'll make you eat this. I'll turn you
into an infant if you don't answer me."
"Monarch," Alice answered. "It's from Monarch. It's from his mushroom."
The witch released Alice and started to walk away.
"Thank you, young lady," the witch said. "I know of this Monarch. I will
get a huge supply of these cookies and transform all of wonderland into
children. Then I will take the Queen's place and rule forever over
wonderland. Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
"Where are you going?" Alice asked sitting up.
"To transform the King and Queen into children," the witch replied with
laughter. "To start my new reign as Queen over wonderland! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
Alice stood up and chased after the witch, grabbing at her skirt.
"No!" Alice pleaded. "You can't do that!"
"Quiet!" the witch yelled and backhanded Alice across the face, tossing
her to the ground. "I am the adult around here and you can't do anything
to stop me, child. Go play with your dollies or something, little one. I
have no time to be bothered by little girls."
Alice watched as the witch turned a corner and vanished into other parts
of the garden.
Alice got back up to her feet and brushed off the dust from her clothes,
then she reached into her blouse pocket and her eyes got wide.
"I still have the wand!" she exclaimed running on down the path.
"There's still a chance. I still have a chance to stop her."
To be continued...